Back in December of 2010, I took a huge leap. I was the mother of a two year-old little boy, in a loving marriage, and I had been working for close to a year with a company that I thought I could make a career with... I was also at a crossroads.
Something was missing. I didn't know what it was, but I wasn't fulfilled - there was something lacking. That year we traveled to Arizona for a Christmas celebration with my husband's family, and I somehow ended up in a long conversation with my sister-in-law about her struggles in getting her masters degree.
My sister-in-law is a remarkable woman - She's raising her daughter alone in Phoenix with no local family support. While holding down a job, she also managed to attend Arizona State University and got her masters degree in Healthcare Administration. As we talked, I started to feel this strange pull towards the idea of getting an education. I had dropped out of college years before and never looked back... but suddenly I couldn't stop thinking about it.
I did a lot of research over the next few weeks, figured out the finances, and made the decision to go back to school. I enrolled in a bachelor's of accounting program that started on January 2, 2011. For the next three and a half years I worked full time, raised my son, was a wife for my husband, AND was a full time student.
I lost a lot of sleep in those years. I missed out on a lot of time with my son and my husband. I pulled all-nighters and worked a full day immediately after, only to come home and study some more. It wasn't easy.
I'll admit it - I cried sometimes while I was studying, locked away in my bedroom, because I could hear my son and husband laughing and playing down the hall. I cried because I couldn't join them. I cried because, while I knew I was making a good decision for our family's future, I was missing out on the people that mattered most.
But, at the end of the day, I had to believe that it was okay for a mother to have a dream too. Not just young people with no attachments... I had to believe that me, a mom in a lower-middle class family, could dream big and actually LIVE that dream.
I don't feel like something's missing anymore. I don't feel like I've missed the boat on my own ambitions. I know now that it's okay for a mom get out and chase a dream - it's okay for us to still have goals for ourselves. If anything, I feel that I've set a better example for my son than I ever could have living the life I was before - A life where I questioned where I was going, what I was doing, and if I'd missed out.
It doesn't matter what your dream is - whether it's getting healthy, learning to sew, going back to school, re-entering the workforce, or becoming a Stay-At-Home-Mom - figure out what you need to do and chase that dream. It's okay for us mothers to go for it - it's not sacrificing our kids. It's setting a better example for our kids.
