Raising an Independent Child

One of the things that I knew, from the minute I found out I was pregnant with my first child, was that I wanted to raise children who would be independent.  I wanted my child to be self sufficient and a problem solver.  I didn't want my child leaning on me for everything - I want to raise my kids knowing that they are powerful enough to solve their own problems, and that I'd be there to back them up if they need extra help.

But that's easier said than done.  As a parent, it's hard to watch your child struggle through an issue - You want to step in and solve it for them.  Our children are the joy of our lives and it KILLS us to think that our children will need to face challenges alone.

When our children are younger, we have an opportunity to build internal strength in them.  In approaching the small challenges in the pre-school and kindergarten years with an empowering outlook, we can help our children learn a nature self sufficiency that they will carry with them as they grow... Here's what I mean:

What do you think?

Don't offer up solutions and advice to your child's problems at the beginning of any struggle.  Ask them what THEY think they should do.  Get their thoughts and ideas - help them brainstorm their own solutions.  Once they've decided on a course of action, help them to either follow through or adjust their plan if you think they need more support.  

Tell them you understand

We've all been there.  We've been in a class without friends and been scared that no one will ever like us.  We've been made fun of or bullied.  Children may encounter their first episodes of social rejection at a very young age.  Let them know that you've been there.  Let them know that it gets better.  Support them and step in if the situation is severe enough - But most of all, empower them.

  

Get outside & make friends

It's really easy nowadays to have kids indoors on the computer or playing video games more often than not - The culture of the "two income household" is upon us and we parents are often so exhausted by the end of the week that we can forget how important it is to get our kids outside.  Meeting other children and playing at the local park helps to build a child's social skills, which can help them become more independent.  Be sure that you encourage building friendships so that your children have consistent interaction with other kids their age.

Let them do it alone

If you aide/assist/help your child do every little thing, they'll never feel empowered to accomplish anything alone.  Teach your child to tie their shoes and then leave them to it.  You don't need to help your child dress once they've figured out the mechanics themselves.  Establish boundaries on both sides - let your child know that they have things that they can accomplish alone, and that some things aren't safe yet (for example, reaching a top shelf in the kitchen for a glass), so they should ask you for help in those areas.

Expand their minds

Reading.  I can't say it enough.  Make sure that you are empowering your child's fascination with the world around them.  Books are a window into the larger world and can help your child develop critical thinking skills which will help them in their problem solving.  I've done an entire post on the importance of reading, which you can read here.

Talk to them

One of the things that I wish my parents had done more with me as a child was just talking to me.  It's hard to feel supported and empowered when you feel like your parents don't know or understand you.  Ask your child how their day went.  Ask your child what they want to do this weekend.  Ask you child what makes them feel happy.  Get to know your child.

My kid hates reading... Now what?

I have always, always LOVED to read.  I was that kid who memorized Berenstain Bear books when I was four and had a Lord of the Rings book under my belt at age ten (Fellowship of the Ring, if you care to know).  But not all kids are like that... in fact, a lot of children out there would go as far as to say they "hate" to read.  Why?  Reading, at the beginning, is hard.  Sometimes, if the topic of the book isn't interesting to you, reading is also boring.

How can we as parents encourage a love of reading?  

Why is it important to try?

Reading = Success

Perhaps it's a slight over-simplification to say that being a strong reader will make you more successful, but it isn't completely misleading.  Study after study shows that adults who were strong readers as children have better communication skills, are creative thinkers, and are more successful in college.   Why wouldn't us parents want those things for our kids?

Reading opens the mind up to new ideas, alternative perspectives, and gets our children asking questions about the world around them.  This process helps our children to have active minds - to gain awareness of the larger world.

But my kid doesn't like to read!

It's all well and good to talk about why a child should be encouraged to read, but it's another thing altogether to talk about how to foster a love of reading.  Because of the "hard" and "boring" elements that often make reading a struggle for younger children, us parents need to get creative.  I'll bet that your child who "hates" reading is being exposed to books that are either too challenging for them or are about something they aren't interested in.

So here are three tips for you, the parent with the anti-reader child, to convince your little one to give reading another chance...

1. Pick books that your child WANTS to read.

What movies or games does your child enjoy?  My son is obsessed with Minecraft - so I bought him Minecraft books.  My son loves Disney and Pixar movies - so I bought him books about his favorite characters.  If you know your child, which I'm assuming you do, you'll know what books will be a good fit for them... and try to avoid forcing your childhood favorites on them.

Kids nowadays are very different from the way we were back in the 70's and 80's (or, dare I say it, the 90's... I feel so old sometimes).  While the occasional Dr. Seuss book might be fun, the kids of today have shorter attention spans than we did - they are a product of the technology age and some older books are really outdated, despite our love of them.  Be selective and if your child doesn't like a book, don't make them read it over and over again.  Donate it.  Give it to your neighbor.  Let that book find it's way to the hands of a child that will love it.

2. Find books that are "reading level" appropriate.

Once you've determined the kind of books your child will love, be sure that they are appropriate for your child's reading level.  Every child learns at a different pace, so you'll want to find books that will challenge them to a certain point, but will still be fun for them.  Putting a chapter book in front of most kindergarteners would be a disaster.  But, if your little reader is advanced, maybe they're ready for something a bit longer and more complex.

Sit with your child and read a few books with them to figure out exactly where your child is at if you aren't sure.  My son, for example, is a little bit behind the average kindergartener when it comes to reading - so we're still focused on getting him up to kindergarten level this summer, rather than frustrating him with books that he simply cannot read yet. Accept your child where they're at and introduce the occasional challenge to get them progressing.

3. Read with them.

Above all else, you need to read with your child - even if they're strong readers and naturally love to sit down with a book, we parents MUST make time to read with our kids.  Just sitting them down with a book doesn't help them.  Read with them.  Have them read to you.  Do it every day.

I'm a working mom and we have a three month-old, so I'm often exhausted by the time my son is ready for bed and wants "story time" - so my husband is usually the one who reads with him.  But, whoever is doing it, it's done every single day.  Despite his reading challenges, my son has progressed immensely over the last year... and I feel it's because we made reading a priority for ourselves as much as we made it a priority for him.

Reading is important, and it isn't a chore.  Let your child see the joy in it, and if you haven't found that joy for yourself, perhaps you will through the exercise of helping your child.

Grocery Shopping, Made Fun!

One of the hardest things to do when grocery shopping with your kids is keeping them entertained.  One section of the store that I've always found particularly challenging is the produce section.  Why?  Well, if you were a six year-old watching your parent load up on nasty tasting vegetables, you probably wouldn't be having a great time.

So what can we do?  While some parents might not have the patience to deal with it, I think it's a good idea to make things fun for your child.  Here's an idea that kept my six year-old son happy while I was looking around for the ingredients I'm trying in a "detox" green juice.  It has a few things in it that I don't typically purchase, so I was wandering around in circles trying to find things - My son was patient for about... two minutes.  Then the whining started.

"Are you done yet?"

"Can I get fruit snacks?"

"Can we go home?"

"Ew, that's gross!  Don't buy that!"

I was far from done with my shopping, so I put him on a project.  Looking around the produce section, my favorite thing has always been the color.  Raw vegetables and fruits are actually quite beautiful. Basing my idea around that, I decided to have my son focus on color and create me a rainbow.

I gave him a few ground rules to get him started: 

• First, he had to hold on to the shopping cart and stay with me while he looked (safety first, right?).  
• Second, we used the "normal" rainbow - no black, pink etc.  
• Third, he had to find the colors in order.  Red first, orange second, etc.

With the rules decided, he got started.  The store was running a bell pepper sale so red was easy - those things were EVERYWHERE.  Orange was another easy one - oranges!  As the rainbow went on, though, it got a bit more challenging.  Here's what my little guy ended up with:

• Red: Bell Pepper
• Orange: Navel Orange
• Yellow: Lemon
• Green: Avocado
• Blue: Blueberries
• Purple: Red Onion

As you can see, my boy did a good job!  It kept him occupied for about ten minutes, while I gathered everything I was looking for.  Getting him involved and excited in the produce section made our trip to the grocery store seem a lot quicker.  Plus, he was in a good mood and felt like he accomplished something.

I'm a huge believer in empowering kids.  Give them the occasional challenge or fun project and see what they can do!  I'm looking forward to challenging myself more as my son gets older.  The more he learns, the harder it is for me to keep him on his toes!

Super Hero Movies & Our Kids

The "super hero movie" phenomenon is EVERYWHERE lately - This week, Avengers: Age of Ultron is opening in theatres and kids everywhere (and some parents) can't wait to see it.  Most kids don't realize, though, that us parents are weighing the pros and cons of these action films pretty heavily before we make the final decision on whether or not our kids are ready for "comic book violence."

As a child, my parents didn't censor much.  We were able to watch R-rated movies from a pretty young age and I became fairly desensitized to film violence and sexuality - but I'm being a bit more selective on the ages that my kids become exposed to this stuff.  So what should we be concerned about when it comes to these types of movies?  When the main characters are labelled as "Heroes," do we need to be more careful?

"Comic Book Violence"

I put that in quotes because some people consider the violence in Super Hero movies to be different from "normal" violence.  I suppose that if the violence stems from Captain America's shield or Thor's hammer, some would say that the violence isn't as bad for kids as, say, gun violence.  But here's the thing - the "bad guy" is typically carrying a gun - a BIG gun - and a great deal of the violence in these movies is "old school," with super punches, super kicks, and super ass-whoopings.  By taking our kids to these movies, are we opening ourselves up to them "super ass kicking" other kids at school while they wear their Iron Man t-shirt?

Super Spandex Girl 

While this isn't a problem unique to Super Hero movies, it is something to consider.  Many of the women portrayed in these movies are wearing a great deal LESS spandex in their super hero uniforms than the guys are.  The "super girls" are, at times,  more of an object than hero, and their story lines often have them being cold and damaged - Why can't these women be simply awesome, like Superman and Captain America?  Why do they need to have been abused or have lost a family member before they became a super hero?  ...and why can't they wear more clothes??

Violence is the Answer 

Here's my major problem with these kinds of movies and my son watching them... The big movie climax is always a HUGE fight sequence.  Things get blown up, super powers are flying everywhere, and the bad guy gets his ass kicked.  To an impressionable child, this might be telling them that in order to solve problems, violence is the answer.  Not compromise, not friendship - Violence.

A key element of these films are the idea that the main character (Iron Man, Batman, Thor, etc) is a HERO - they are good, strong, and fight for justice.  So when our kids see them resorting to violence to solve all of their problems, aren't we encouraging that idea? 

Do my kids watch Super Hero movies?

Yes.  My kids do watch super hero movies and they love them.  As you may recall from this post, I have two older stepchildren - They have seen many of the popular hero films, including Thor, Iron Man, and Captain America.  They have not, however, watched the recent Batman trilogy, as my husband and I feel that it's too violent for them.

But what about my six year-old?  As you can see below, he LOVES super heroes - Seriously.  His favorite right now is Iron Man, though he also likes Black Widow and the Scarlet Witch.  For a long time, the only super hero film I let him watch was the Pixar film, The Incredibles - it still has a lot of the same violence, but censored down, animated, and the topic of strong women is addressed well.

We also took him to see the new Avenger's film this weekend.  Some of you may be thinking, "What?!?!?  How could she?!" - But here's the thing that we parents have to consider with our kids: EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT.  My 12 year-old stepdaughter, and even in some cases my 6 year-old son, can handle films that are too "dark" for my 14 year-old stepson.  Each child will react to things differently based on their own maturity level.  As a parent, it's our jobs to consider our kids and their uniqueness when we tackle this topic of what films "aren't appropriate" for them.

Fine Motor Boot Camp: For Big Kids

After my son started kindergarten, it became clear that his fine motor skills needed work.  He was struggling with his handwriting and drawing, and it was impacting his confidence at school.  I spoke with the occupational therapist at the school district and she boiled my son's challenges down to one core problem: weak muscles his hands and wrists.

It's not that my son doesn't have the ability to write - he just does it sloppy.  It isn't that he can't draw a person, he just does it sloppy.  The refined movements needed to be more precise required stronger and better "trained" muscles - his hands and wrists needed a workout!

I did a lot of research and found that the majority of fine motor "activities" are geared toward younger kids - toddlers - to develop fine motor skills that were a bit too basic for my kindergartener.  What fun things could I do with my six year-old that would challenge him and still keep him entertained?

The activity that I'm showing you today is super basic, but still fun and useful for fine motor skills.  All that you'd need are pipe cleaners and any kind of sequins you can find.  Sequins, typically, has a very small hole somewhere - that hole is important for this project so be sure yours has them!  We were aiming to make a "garden" this time, so I found large flower and leaf-shaped ones.  Since this is still aimed at the kiddos, try to keep it fun with bright colors and various shapes.

Let's make things!

The first step in fine motor development is picking out the sequins they would like to use - the pincer grasp on these tiny, thin pieces of plastic is a workout on the small muscles in the hand.  Once your child has picked out enough pieces for your project (my son selected about 30 to cover two pipe cleaners), you're ready to get started on the assembly.

Because the sequins is so small and the pipe cleaner has that fluffy bit that fights against threading the sequins, this might be challenging for your child at first - I helped out by holding the pipe cleaner steady while my son figured out the mechanics of lining up the sequins with the pipe cleaner and how much pressure he needed to get the sequins to slide on.

After a while, my son was able to thread the sequins solo - as you watch your child do this, you'll notice how many precise hand movements this seemingly basic activity uses.  We even took a quick break to grab a snack after one pipe cleaner was done because my son's hands had started to get a little sore.

Once your pipe cleaners are done, twist them together to create "vines" - and Ta-Da!  Your "garden" is complete!  If a "garden" isn't up your child's alley, make other shapes and designs by connecting different colored pipe cleaners together after threading on the sequins - we've made crowns and bracelets before, so encourage your child to be creative and have fun.

Childproofing your iPad

Let's face it - most of us are going to have children that end up MUCH more tech-savvy than we are... and typically this aptitude for electronics is happening early!  My 6 year-old is incredibly skilled at getting onto a computer, phone, iPad - you name it.  I'm not even sure where he picked up the skills or who taught him.

So here's the question - In a world with nearly unlimited access to things that we would NEVER want our children to see, read, or hear, how do we "childproof" our electronics, while still allowing them to grow and learn in our hugely technological society?  Let's start simple.  The iPad.

The key to managing your iPad's safety is in the "Setting" icon.  Everything you'll need can be found here - Restrictions, Wifi, Passcode options, etc.  Make yourself familiar with all of the tabs in this area so that you know how to enable and disable the different features on your device.  This is SUPER important for parents who want to allow their kids to use their electronics, but want a firm control on what their child can do when using them.

Step One: Passcode

The most basic way to protect your child - and your iPad - is to create a passcode (or password) which will lock your device when not in use.  This means that if your especially curious child does manage to get their little hands on the iPad when you aren't looking, they still won't be able to actually use it.

Step Two: Restrictions

This is the most important way to limit your child's access to inappropriate material.  A lot of parents just aren't sure HOW to go about it, so here's a walk through - Open up Settings (I love that icon!) and go to "General Settings" which is an option located on the left side of the screen.  Then, click on "Restrictions" which should pop up on the lower right, as seen below:

Once there, you will have the ability to select what security features you would like to enable or disable.  You also set a separate passcode for restrictions, just in case your child figures out your main passcode.  There are a lot of different options, so here's a breakdown:

 

I opt to disable EVERYTHING except use of the camera - you may not be so strict!  However, I do have a few reasons for limiting my child so much.

• By turning off the "iTunes Store," "Installing Apps" and "In-App Purchases" you have completely avoided the worry that your child may accidentally spend money while using the iPad.  
• Disabling the "Deleting Apps" option stops your child from accidentally removing games or other apps from your device.
• "Safari" is Apple's web browser.  I prefer to sit with my child when he's on the actual "internet" and by disabling this, I don't need to worry about him stumbling across a website that he shouldn't be on.
• Options like "Siri" or "FaceTime" are just simply features that I don't see my child using, so why give him the option?  I have a specific plan in mind during my child's "media time" and it's important to me that he uses the time on games or apps that I have approved - not messing around with random features that don't have any real purpose.

Another area of the "Restrictions" page is "Allowed Content," which is extremely important if you opt to allow your child on apps like YouTube or Netflix, or if you aren't sure on the appropriateness of certain apps.

Here are my settings, but you might need yours altered based on your child's age.  Just click on each sub-section to see the options and pick what works best for you.

Don't Worry - It's Not Permanent!

The thing to keep in mind is that your restrictions can be quickly changed by you at ANY time.  As your child grows, or if you have children in different age groups, it takes only a few swipes of your finger to adjust the settings.

It's extremely easy to have an iPad that the entire family can share - including you, for your Sons of Anarchy binges on Netflix (not that I watch that show or anything...)

Why I Didn't Raise A Whiner

Perhaps this will be a controversial post... maybe it won't be.  But as a parent, I think that the behaviors we instill in our kids are some of the most important elements of being a "parent" ... So here we go!

You've all seen those kids... the ones in grocery stores and at parks - the ones that seem to rule their parents through temper tantrums, cry at the drop of a hat, and get whatever they want?  Yeah - those kids.  The whiners.  I can't stand whiners.

First and foremost, I accept that some children have a larger problem at play than just being whiners.  This post isn't directed at those children.  Severe behavior issues as a result of developmental problems, victims of abuse, autistic children, etc - they aren't what this is about.  In fact, I salute the parents of special needs children and am in awe of you.

This post is, really, not even directed at kids.  This is a post ALL about the parents.  I am a firm believer that "whiny" kids are the result of the environment they've been raised in.  I see it everyday with children of friends, kids at my son's school, even my own nieces and nephews.

These children essentially do whatever they want and the entire WORLD hears it when they don't get their way.  They are the kids that cry when they get apple juice instead of orange juice.  The ones that freak out at the store if they can't open their new toy right away.  They are the kids FLIP OUT at the playground when another kid is on their favorite swing... Honestly, in the immortal words of Sweet Brown:

That being said, I get it.  We all raise our kids differently and every child is unique... However, what I do NOT feel is unique are the basic ideas of respect, listening, and following direction.  Given my lack of patience for "whiners," I thought a lot (during pregnancy) about what I could do to make sure that my child didn't become one.  It was, in fact, my nieces and nephews that aided me in creating my "Anti-Whiner Parenting Plan."

My nieces and nephews are beautiful and amazing children... however, they are also spoiled brats.  Sorry if that term bothers you, but this post isn't for those who think life is all sunshine and roses.  My nieces and nephews have been allowed to do whatever they want since the minute they were born.  They talk back and have nasty attitudes, they freak out when discipline is attempted, and they have issues with any authority figure in their life - including their parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and teachers.

I think the key to what I would have done differently with them, and what I DID do differently with my son, was set around three basic ideas:

1. Setting Firm Boundaries
2. Being a Predictable Parent
3. Not Overreacting

Set Firm Boundaries

This has been the key to my parenting philosophy.   My son knows what he is and is not allowed to do.  My husband and I aren't "wishy-washy" about it.  We haven't given him any unreasonable or overly restrictive rules, but the rules that are in place are non-negotiable... and the key here is that he KNOWS they aren't negotiable.

If he decides to break a rule, he knows going into it that there will be consequences.  This helps to limit any overly emotional reactions to punishment - when he has his half hour of iPad time taken away because he refused to eat his vegetables at dinner, it's not a surprise.  He certainly isn't happy about it, but we don't experience melt-downs of cosmic proportions.

Be Predictable

Tying in with the last concept, predictability has been extremely important in my parenting style.  Allowing my son to see that I have a stable and consistent reaction to his bad behavior helps him, in my opinion, with his decision making.  He KNOWS.  This means that when I give him a punishment - like having to sit in his room for ten minutes after he refused to listen about cleaning up his toys - he KNOWS the drill.

I simply refuse to let him get away with bad behavior, or "play it easy" on him every now and again.  The simple fact is that by being consistent, he doesn't usually act out in ways that require punishment.  He's a REALLY good kid.  Predictability allows us both to go through our days with the knowledge that if a line is crossed, he will need to "face the music," and we both know what will happen.

Don't Overreact

I cannot tell you how important I feel it is to limit our reactions as parents.  It's SO easy to just SCREAM sometimes - I know I've wanted to (badly) in the past.  But when I see those whiny kids at the store and that parent in their face yelling at them to shut up?  Pinching them to get them to stop?  No.  That's not cool.  I don't think that yelling or hitting a child will help ANYTHING.  In fact, I'm a firm believer that it will only make things worse.

We need to have a firm set of rules for our kids and they need to know to follow them - but the reality is that they're kids and they WILL go against the rules at times.  It's normal.  So when it does happen, we need to have a rational and calm reaction that allows us to discipline our children, while also maintaining their trust and respect in us.  Don't overreact and go off like a bomb - walk them through what's happening, why they are in trouble, and be clear about the consequences.

Judge Not

At the end of day, as I said before, all of us are different.  Our kids are different and their reactions in certain situations can be unpredictable no matter patient or consistent we are.  What's important is instilling the values of respect and "right vs. wrong" in them from a young age.  We'll all go about that in various ways, some that might work for a lot of people, others that won't.  It's all about the effort at working toward patient parenting that I feel is the most important...  Because, let's be honest - No one likes a whiner.

Moms Are Allowed to Chase Dreams

Back in December of 2010, I took a huge leap.  I was the mother of a two year-old little boy, in a loving marriage, and I had been working for close to a year with a company that I thought I could make a career with... I was also at a crossroads.

Something was missing.  I didn't know what it was, but I wasn't fulfilled - there was something lacking.  That year we traveled to Arizona for a Christmas celebration with my husband's family, and I somehow ended up in a long conversation with my sister-in-law about her struggles in getting her masters degree.

My sister-in-law is a remarkable woman - She's raising her daughter alone in Phoenix with no local family support.  While holding down a job, she also managed to attend Arizona State University and got her masters degree in Healthcare Administration.  As we talked, I started to feel this strange pull towards the idea of getting an education.  I had dropped out of college years before and never looked back... but suddenly I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I did a lot of research over the next few weeks, figured out the finances, and made the decision to go back to school.  I enrolled in a bachelor's of accounting program that started on January 2, 2011.  For the next three and a half years I worked full time, raised my son, was a wife for my husband, AND was a full time student.

I lost a lot of sleep in those years.  I missed out on a lot of time with my son and my husband.  I pulled all-nighters and worked a full day immediately after, only to come home and study some more.  It wasn't easy.

I'll admit it - I cried sometimes while I was studying, locked away in my bedroom, because I could hear my son and husband laughing and playing down the hall.  I cried because I couldn't join them.  I cried because, while I knew I was making a good decision for our family's future, I was missing out on the people that mattered most.

But, at the end of the day, I had to believe that it was okay for a mother to have a dream too.  Not just young people with no attachments... I had to believe that me, a mom in a lower-middle class family, could dream big and actually LIVE that dream.

On August 18, 2014, I graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelor's of Science in Accounting.  I have an amazing job now.  We live in a better area with top-ranked schools, my job allows my husband to stay at home with our son, and I'm FULFILLED.

I don't feel like something's missing anymore.  I don't feel like I've missed the boat on my own ambitions.  I know now that it's okay for a mom get out and chase a dream - it's okay for us to still have goals for ourselves.  If anything, I feel that I've set a better example for my son than I ever could have living the life I was before - A life where I questioned where I was going, what I was doing, and if I'd missed out.

It doesn't matter what your dream is - whether it's getting healthy, learning to sew, going back to school, re-entering the workforce, or becoming a Stay-At-Home-Mom - figure out what you need to do and chase that dream.  It's okay for us mothers to go for it - it's not sacrificing our kids.  It's setting a better example for our kids.

Inspiring Creativity in our Children

In today's society, it's so easy to fall into the trap of sitting your child in front of a TV and letting the television act an an almost "baby sitter" while you get the laundry and dishes done, cook dinner, etc.  I'll admit that the TV has helped me out at times, even though I try my best to limit the amount of time my son spends watching it.

 But why should we limit TV or video game time?  My thought process behind that is keeping my child's mind active - not letting him just sit and watch a screen.  I want his mind, hands, and voice engaged in activities that will help him grow - I want to inspire his creativity.  But what activities can do that, and why is it so important?

 

Creativity, by definition, is the use of the imagination or original ideas.  One can imply from that, in a way, that any person requires a certain amount of creativity to "think outside of the box," be unique, and push the envelope.  These are the cornerstones of successful ADULTS in every business and industry in the world.  Because of that, I feel it's a parent's responsibility to foster creative thinking in their children. 

When our children are young, they're sponges - they take in everything and absorb it as they form their personalities, values, and opinions.  As parents, we can cultivate creativity through play and interaction - This doesn't require fancy classes at special academies or going to parenting workshops.  It's all about being present in your child's life and giving them exposure to games, toys, and experiences that will help them grow into creative thinkers.

In the Cozy household, we've been on a budget since the moment our son was born.  It's not that we weren't financially ready, it's just that kids can be and generally ARE expensive to raise.  We also live in California, so things tend to be pretty pricey anyway.

When thinking of ways to keep our son occupied and engaged in the world around him we, through trial and error, found a few really cheap ways to not only keep our son laughing and smiling, but also to inspire him to think and behave creatively.

Get Your Child Outside With a Magnifying Glass: A magnifying glass is a wonderful thing.  For only a few bucks, my son and I can enjoy outdoor adventures while we walk our dog.  We examine rocks, leaves, bugs - you name it.  My son comes up with all sorts of stories about who planted the trees around our house, what the birds might be talking about, and he's convinced the the snails we see are like Turbo from the movie.

Become An Artist: Crayons are my preference for this, but colored pencils and paints serve the same purpose.  My son LOVES colors - he even has a detailed list of his ten favorites.  He likes to draw our family, our dog, wild animals, roller coasters, and has recently started making greeting cards for us.  My favorites are the ones with "I Love Mom" written on the front.

Problem Solve with Puzzles: When he was little, we bought those big 10-piece puzzles for toddlers and our son wasn't at all impressed.  However, now that he's six years-old, the more challenging 100-piece puzzles keep him interested.  We turn these puzzles into family events, getting all of us at the table, helping him to piece together a puzzle about his favorite story, movie, and even maps of the world.

Adventure in a Book: Think beyond bedtime stories and include books throughout your child's day.  It helps with their development of reading skills and also allows them to explore the joy of reading about fairy tale princesses, dashing pirates, super heroes, and even outer-space travel.  For my son, the longer the book the better.  This process has encouraged his spirit of "make believe" and has made him more interested in the world around him.

Sculpt in 3D Color: Play Doh can be bought just about everywhere and I don't think I've met a child that didn't love the stuff.  We've amassed a relatively inexpensive box filled with different colors, shapes & cutters for our son to experiment with.  This has helped with his fine motor skills and is developing his ability for artistic expression... even if he always mixes the colors up.