Super Hero Movies & Our Kids

The "super hero movie" phenomenon is EVERYWHERE lately - This week, Avengers: Age of Ultron is opening in theatres and kids everywhere (and some parents) can't wait to see it.  Most kids don't realize, though, that us parents are weighing the pros and cons of these action films pretty heavily before we make the final decision on whether or not our kids are ready for "comic book violence."

As a child, my parents didn't censor much.  We were able to watch R-rated movies from a pretty young age and I became fairly desensitized to film violence and sexuality - but I'm being a bit more selective on the ages that my kids become exposed to this stuff.  So what should we be concerned about when it comes to these types of movies?  When the main characters are labelled as "Heroes," do we need to be more careful?

"Comic Book Violence"

I put that in quotes because some people consider the violence in Super Hero movies to be different from "normal" violence.  I suppose that if the violence stems from Captain America's shield or Thor's hammer, some would say that the violence isn't as bad for kids as, say, gun violence.  But here's the thing - the "bad guy" is typically carrying a gun - a BIG gun - and a great deal of the violence in these movies is "old school," with super punches, super kicks, and super ass-whoopings.  By taking our kids to these movies, are we opening ourselves up to them "super ass kicking" other kids at school while they wear their Iron Man t-shirt?

Super Spandex Girl 

While this isn't a problem unique to Super Hero movies, it is something to consider.  Many of the women portrayed in these movies are wearing a great deal LESS spandex in their super hero uniforms than the guys are.  The "super girls" are, at times,  more of an object than hero, and their story lines often have them being cold and damaged - Why can't these women be simply awesome, like Superman and Captain America?  Why do they need to have been abused or have lost a family member before they became a super hero?  ...and why can't they wear more clothes??

Violence is the Answer 

Here's my major problem with these kinds of movies and my son watching them... The big movie climax is always a HUGE fight sequence.  Things get blown up, super powers are flying everywhere, and the bad guy gets his ass kicked.  To an impressionable child, this might be telling them that in order to solve problems, violence is the answer.  Not compromise, not friendship - Violence.

A key element of these films are the idea that the main character (Iron Man, Batman, Thor, etc) is a HERO - they are good, strong, and fight for justice.  So when our kids see them resorting to violence to solve all of their problems, aren't we encouraging that idea? 

Do my kids watch Super Hero movies?

Yes.  My kids do watch super hero movies and they love them.  As you may recall from this post, I have two older stepchildren - They have seen many of the popular hero films, including Thor, Iron Man, and Captain America.  They have not, however, watched the recent Batman trilogy, as my husband and I feel that it's too violent for them.

But what about my six year-old?  As you can see below, he LOVES super heroes - Seriously.  His favorite right now is Iron Man, though he also likes Black Widow and the Scarlet Witch.  For a long time, the only super hero film I let him watch was the Pixar film, The Incredibles - it still has a lot of the same violence, but censored down, animated, and the topic of strong women is addressed well.

We also took him to see the new Avenger's film this weekend.  Some of you may be thinking, "What?!?!?  How could she?!" - But here's the thing that we parents have to consider with our kids: EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT.  My 12 year-old stepdaughter, and even in some cases my 6 year-old son, can handle films that are too "dark" for my 14 year-old stepson.  Each child will react to things differently based on their own maturity level.  As a parent, it's our jobs to consider our kids and their uniqueness when we tackle this topic of what films "aren't appropriate" for them.

Get Ready With Me: Skincare Edition

I've been playing around with my shower-time skincare routine since moving to an excessively dry climate two months ago, and I've finally found my "happy place."  I've always had dry skin - in fact, my skin has a number of pretty serious issues.  

First, I had a stage one Melanoma removed back in 2010, so while I don't consider myself a "cancer survivor" (a quick removal took care of things), I do have to keep an eye on every mole and dark spot on my body.  Second, I have psoriasis - it's plagued me since childhood and is currently flaring up pretty bad on my fingernails, shoulders, and arms.  Third, I have sensitive skin, so the vast majority of skincare products irritate my skin to the point of rashes. 

So when I say that I've got a CAREFUL skincare routine, please know that I genuinely have to take a great deal of care in what products I use on my body.

I have typically have a certain amount of DIY scrubs and creams on hand, but work has been so nuts lately that I've been pulling long hours and don't have the time to make any right now.  That being said, I do try to be as healthy and natural as possible without breaking the bank.

Shaving

I hate shaving - my skin gets SO irritated if I'm not careful.  Years ago I found the Schick Intuition razor and I haven't used anything else since.  There are a few different options within the Intuition range, but I stick with the Naturals Sensitive Care.  The way that the razor itself is surrounded by a natural aloe and vitamin E moisturizer helps to sooth my skin as I shave.  The razor itself is usually about $10 at the drugstore, with the refills pack going for $15-30 depending on how many cartridges you're buying.

Body Wash

If I had to pick one natural ingredient as my "favorite," coconut would probably be it.  I recently found the OGX Coconut Milk & Hibiscus Body Wash and I absolutely love it - I use the same brand for my shampoo and conditioner and these products are really impressive for the price, with really great organic ingredients.  This product usually sells below $10 a bottle.

Facial Wash / Scrub

While I generally use only coconut oil to remove my makeup (see the link below), I still need a little something more to give my face a deep clean.  Simple is another brand I love - Really affordable and they acutally make a facial scrub that I can use (in addition to very limited chemical ingredients)!  

Usually my skin freaks out with scrubs and I have to DIY something that doesn't really provide a lot of exfoliation... The Simple Smoothing Facial Scrub is so mellow on my skin that have used it multiple days in a row before and not had any issues (I generally try to limit myself to twice per week with a scrub).  The Moisturizing Facial Wash by Simple is also really great and provides a gentle clean for sensitive skin.  Both products cost under $10 each.

Moisture

While everything that I use is "moisturizing," I still have to lather my entire body in lotion both in the morning and at night.  I use Aveeno products... I'll be the first to admit that neither is ideal from a "Safe Cosmetics" perspective, but because of my psoriasis, I have to use them - nothing else works on me without the assistance of a corticosteroid cream... and I don't like to use corticosteroids unless its a serious flare-up.

On my face I use the Aveeno Daily Moisturizing Lotion - It moisturizes without feeling heavy and you can find travel sizes for $2 in addition to the regular bottles, which retail for around $10.  On my body, and probably the most important product in my entire skincare routine, I use the Aveeno Eczema Therapy Moisturizing Cream.  This cream changed my life - it costs $15 and you can find it at any drugstore.  It allows me to treat my psoriasis without steroids or a doctor's visit, plus it helps to control flare-ups all together.

Fine Motor Boot Camp: For Big Kids

After my son started kindergarten, it became clear that his fine motor skills needed work.  He was struggling with his handwriting and drawing, and it was impacting his confidence at school.  I spoke with the occupational therapist at the school district and she boiled my son's challenges down to one core problem: weak muscles his hands and wrists.

It's not that my son doesn't have the ability to write - he just does it sloppy.  It isn't that he can't draw a person, he just does it sloppy.  The refined movements needed to be more precise required stronger and better "trained" muscles - his hands and wrists needed a workout!

I did a lot of research and found that the majority of fine motor "activities" are geared toward younger kids - toddlers - to develop fine motor skills that were a bit too basic for my kindergartener.  What fun things could I do with my six year-old that would challenge him and still keep him entertained?

The activity that I'm showing you today is super basic, but still fun and useful for fine motor skills.  All that you'd need are pipe cleaners and any kind of sequins you can find.  Sequins, typically, has a very small hole somewhere - that hole is important for this project so be sure yours has them!  We were aiming to make a "garden" this time, so I found large flower and leaf-shaped ones.  Since this is still aimed at the kiddos, try to keep it fun with bright colors and various shapes.

Let's make things!

The first step in fine motor development is picking out the sequins they would like to use - the pincer grasp on these tiny, thin pieces of plastic is a workout on the small muscles in the hand.  Once your child has picked out enough pieces for your project (my son selected about 30 to cover two pipe cleaners), you're ready to get started on the assembly.

Because the sequins is so small and the pipe cleaner has that fluffy bit that fights against threading the sequins, this might be challenging for your child at first - I helped out by holding the pipe cleaner steady while my son figured out the mechanics of lining up the sequins with the pipe cleaner and how much pressure he needed to get the sequins to slide on.

After a while, my son was able to thread the sequins solo - as you watch your child do this, you'll notice how many precise hand movements this seemingly basic activity uses.  We even took a quick break to grab a snack after one pipe cleaner was done because my son's hands had started to get a little sore.

Once your pipe cleaners are done, twist them together to create "vines" - and Ta-Da!  Your "garden" is complete!  If a "garden" isn't up your child's alley, make other shapes and designs by connecting different colored pipe cleaners together after threading on the sequins - we've made crowns and bracelets before, so encourage your child to be creative and have fun.

The One-Size Cloth Diaper Debate

I think that all of us parents can agree that saving time and money is an ideal goal for anything.  We're already running around like crazy and wasting our precious resources on something that doesn't make our lives easier?  Insanity!  

When it come to cloth diapering, one might assume that buying "one-size" options is the money saving way to go - these diapers can "grow with your baby," right?  Well... maybe.

 

The basic idea behind a one-size cloth diaper is that, through a series of snap closures, you can adjust the way the fabric is secured around your baby - this allows for a hypothetical 8lb baby to fit into the same diaper as a hypothetical 30lb toddler.  But does it really work as easy as that?

In my experience, I've only dealt with BIG babies.  My son was born weighing in at a burly 9lb 4oz, and my daughter at a slightly more modest 8lb 0oz.  Even under those circumstances - where the newborn was actually larger than the typical minimum weight for a one-size diaper (8lbs) - the diapers were far too bulky and just not practical at first.  My kids used newborn specific cloth diapers for at least the first month, if not a little longer.

I currently have a two month-old (the daughter I mentioned earlier) and she's only just now wearing the one-size diapers from our stash.  She's about 12lbs now - and in my experience, the 12lb mark is generally the smallest that I feel confident with.  A poor fit (i.e. a too big diaper on a too small baby) can lead to leaking, and, in the words of my idol Sweet Brown:

What brands work best on small babies?

There is some variation on the sizes of one-size diapers... as odd as that sounds.  I've found that buying the "cheapy" brands off of eBay (try this link) generally results in slightly tighter fits - of course, they will also fit tighter as your child grows, so they won't last as long.  Snaps on these are also lower quality, so buy at your own risk.

If you want to be sure your diapers are either locally made or if you're a "name brand" kind of parent, the Rum-A-Rooz OS diaper fits a lot more snug on my kids than others and has a really adjustable fit around the legs if your baby has "thunder thighs" like mine did/do.  Kawaii Baby OS diapers are a great option for parents on a budget - these work okay as well, though still a bit bulky on a 12-13lb baby.

What does a OS cloth diaper look like on an infant?

This is my daughter in a Kawaii Baby OS - as I mentioned above, she weighs 12lbs now.  This diaper, hypothetically speaking, should fit an 8lb newborn... and to be honest with you, I can't buy into that.  Yes, there are smaller adjustments to the fit at the waist and thigh than what she's wearing here, but you'd force that poor newborn into doing the splits with all that bulk - Do you see what I mean? 

Five Weight Loss Promises to Myself

Today I am embarking on my postpartum weight loss journey.  I have weighed myself for the first time since giving birth, I've dusted off my workout gear, and I'm ready.  But!  Before I start this adventure, I'm setting boundaries.  Weight loss is an incredibly emotional journey, in addition to the physical transformation - A woman can ruin her self-esteem and create unrealistic goals for herself that will only set her up for failure... I won't do that to myself.  Below are my "Five Weight Loss Promises to Myself" - my boundaries for both my physical and emotional well-being:

I will love myself, no matter what.

Society sets women up for serious self-esteem issues and the levels of self-hate running through many woman because of their weight is disgusting.  I don't care how "chubby" I may be, I will love myself for who I am.  My weight loss is for health reasons, not to fit into a tiny bikini.  Yes, looking great in a pair of skinny jeans will be awesome, but that's not why I'm doing this.  I'm doing this to be in a position where I can keep up with my kids and live a long, healthy life.

This is a lifestyle change - not a diet.

I can't do diets.  They are restrictive and NOT fun.  If this is going to work, this is a change of my eating habits and lifestyle - this is permanent, not a fad, and it will be a slow process of figuring out what works, and cutting out what doesn't.  If I treat this as a diet, I'll likely end up miserable and need "cheat" days to keep it up - that's not the goal here.  This is changing my approach to eating and fitness in a way that is sustainable.

I will workout.

I was on workout restrictions starting at 9 weeks during my pregnancy, so it's been close to a YEAR since I tried any form of fitness routine.  This won't be easy to start up again, because I can tell that I've lost a lot of strength and endurance - But that's okay!  We all start somewhere.  I am committed to working out and slowly building to where I was before.

I accept that this won't happen overnight.

Expecting immediate results isn't realistic.  In fact, doing so will probably make me thoroughly disappointed.  It took me 10 months to gain these extra 30 pounds, and thinking that I'll get them all off in less time than that is just ridiculous.  I'm in this for the long haul and I will be patient with my body as it gets back to a healthy place.

I will not be victim to the scale.

I weighed myself today.  I will not return to that scale until next week.  Daily weigh-in's are crazy to me - I've done it before and it wasn't good for my emotional health.  Our bodies fluctuate so much and depending on daily numbers can make you a slave to your scale.  I won't do it.  Every Saturday - that's it.  No more.  Plus, there are so many other ways to track your progress - how your clothing fits, measuring, etc.

At the end of the day, any person's weight loss journey is intensely personal and we all have different limits.  These are my promises to myself - What are yours?