Conflicting Feelings, My Pregnancy With Baby #2

As a mother who'd secretly been hoping for a second child since about... three seconds following the birth of my first, I was a bit shocked at my reactions throughout my pregnancy with Baby #2.

I have been constantly conflicted.

You see, my son is six - he's in kindergarten and finally starting to spread his wings and become a more independent little creature.  It's a joy to watch him make new friends, learn new things, and start to truly appreciate the world around him.

For the past several months, though, my pregnancy has forced me to take a step back from my son's adventures due to various complications that kept me a home in bed, while my husband went to school functions, birthday parties, etc.

I've found myself frustrated - even angry - that I was MISSING OUT on my son in order to bring this new baby into the world.  Those feelings, not at all aimed at my unborn daughter - more of a reaction to my own limitations - shocked me.  I never would have thought that I'd be one of those "miserable pregnant ladies" ... But I think I am sometimes.  So what can I do to stop this cycle of frustration and anger in order to enjoy both my son and my pregnancy?

Accept Your Limitations

I think that we moms do occasionally hold ourselves to the "Super Mom" standard - we think that we should be able to anything and everything... and then we get upset when we can't.  It's important that we accept the fact that, while we're pretty amazing, we are NOT Super Woman.  During pregnancy, our bodies are going through so much - It's okay to be tired.  It's okay to stay in bed an extra hour and let your husband cook breakfast.  It's okay to miss the daily school drop-off because you've got severe morning sickness.

IT'S OKAY.  We can't be everywhere, we can't do everything.  Accepting that you can't do it all is the first step in limiting your frustrations when you're aren't there for EVERYTHING.  My son loves running into the room to show off a project and to let me know his spelling test scores.  He knows that his little sister is in my belly that it makes me tired sometimes... and you know what?  He understands.  He's only six and he manages to cut me more slack than I do.

Enjoy the Little Things

Recently my son participated in a Spell-A-Thon at school and parents were invited to sit in to watch as the kids all took a spelling-bee style test.  I'd worked with Baby #1 on his words at home and while he wasn't 100% perfect with everything, I knew he'd do extremely well.  That practice at home was so much fun - he started quizzing me too and it ended in fits of giggles as I tried to spell "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" (I couldn't, by the way).

The day of the Spell-A-Thon arrived and I couldn't make it - between feeling incredibly rundown (did I mention I'm 9 months pregnant?), having extremely swollen feet that made walking a problem, AND work, I had to miss it.  My husband attended in my place... and I was miserable.  I wanted to be there SO badly.  So, instead of enjoying the memory of those giggles from preparing for the Spell-A-Thon, I could only focus on the fact that I wasn't there for the main event.

...and that's not fair to me or to my son.  We had an absolute BLAST studying his spelling words and he shared the entire story about the Spell-A-Thon with me that night at home.  These moments doing homework - while they may not stick out as "monumental" in the grand scheme of things - are still important and I should still be able to enjoy them, not focus on all of the other things that I couldn't participate in.

Super Mom Image (c) Rogue Attire