Tattooed Mommy: The Struggle is Real

I'm a fan of body art - I have tattoos on both of my arms, one of my legs, and one on my back.  I cover my tattoos up at work, but once I'm at home (and around my children) the long sleeves, pants, and bracelets are traded in for comfy clothes that don't need to cover up my "ink."

When my son was a toddler, I can remember him touching my tattoos with a quizzical look on his face as he proceeded to rub my wrist with his chubby little hand, trying to get my tattoo off of my skin... But as he's gotten older, I don't think my son even notices my tattoos anymore.  My four month-old daughter is just now starting to notice, and she too seems confused - but I know that confusion will soon fade as the tattoos become just another part of mommy.

With my kids, the issue isn't a big deal - I don't associate my tattoos with an "alternate lifestyle" choice, nor do I feel like I'm in some way different from those who choose not to get tattoos... But the unfortunate truth is that a few members of the "Mommy Brigade" don't agree.  It seems okay to them for Dad's to have body art, but us Mom's?  It just doesn't seem as accepted.  

Now I'm not trying to make generalizations - I know I'm not the only mom out there with tattoos and I know that mother's without body art aren't all overly judgmental about it... But there seems to be a view that some people have about the inappropriateness of tattoos on a mother's body that feel completely free to share their negative views with us "tattooed hoodlums" - The view that we need to cover them up around our kids.  That we need to tell our children that tattoos aren't okay.

Screw that.

The stereotype that "tattoos are for criminals and drug addicts" is an irresponsible one that I think motivates a lot of the negative thoughts toward body art... and please don't quote Leviticus - It speaks against the use of body art in pagan rituals, and I can assure you, I've never taken part in any ancient druidic rites of passage. 

Tattoos are a type of personal expression - just like this blog is.  Yes, they're permanent and need to be thought over carefully before committing to them.  But when a tattoo truly means something to you, it becomes as much a part of you as your skin was before the tattoo was put there.  My tattoos stand for my heritage, my desire for truth and joy in life, and my love of fantasy. How can those things corrupt my children?  I've even seen a Facebook group literally titled "Your Tattoos Make You A Horrible Mother" - Seriously??

Source Unknown (Share in Comments if you know!)

As my children grow my husband and I plan to encourage them to be who they truly want to be.  If that means body art, I'm fine with it.  If that means no body art, I'm fine with it.  For those parents out there who view my tattoos as inappropriate and turn their children the other way when the Jabberwocky tattoo on my leg is out for the world to see, know that you've got much bigger fish to fry than a harmless tattoo.  

This world is full of hateful and frightening things that we need to shield our kids from.  Worry about bigotry and teach your child to love others - not about a tattoo that is composed of imagery that neither hurts nor demeans anyone else.

Cozy Life Bonus: WIWTM

Quick bonus post - I started a YouTube Channel!  My first video is a fun WIWTM (What I Wore This Month), showing you guys what makers, lengths, and absorbancy I needed for my cycle this month with my Cloth Pads.

While a lot of the pads I wore are ones I made myself, I did use a lot of different makers as well! Below is a list of the pads I wore, with links out to the shops I bought from, just in case you want to check out those makers!  I don't sell the pads I make myself, but all of the topper material in my stash (at least to this point) is from Joann Fabrics.

Day One

12 inch Heavy, Flannel top, Fleece back - Lucha Libre: Self-made

10 inch Heavy, Cotton top, Fleece back - Paris: Self-made

13 inch, Overnight, Flannel top, Windpro back - Foxes: Eco Alternatives

Day Two

12 inch Heavy, Flannel top, Fleece back - Cake Plate: Self-made

12 inch Heavy, Cotton top, Fleece back - Star Trek: Self-made

12 inch Heavy, Cotton top, Fleece back - Paris: Self-made

12 inch Heavy, Flannel top, Upcycled Fleece back - Mermaid: Self-made

10 inch Heavy, Cotton top, Fleece back - Sugar Skulls: Self-made

10 inch Heavy, Flannel top, Fleece back - Superhero: Craftynook

13 inch, Overnight, Flannel top, Windpro back - Ninjas: Eco Alternatives

Day Three

9 inch Heavy, Flannel top, Fleece back - Wonder Woman: Craftynook

9.25 inch Heavy, Cotton top, Windpro back - Kokeshi: Yurtcraft
12 inch Heavy, Cotton top, Fleece back - Tula Pink: Mother Moon Pads
10.5 inch Heavy, Flannel top, Windpro back - Owls: Yurtcraft
10 inch Heavy, Flannel top, Upcycled Fleece back - Pink Floral: Self-made
10 inch Heavy, Flannel top, Fleece back - Mermaid: Self-made
13 inch Heavy, Cotton top, Windpro back - Koi Fish: Beach Bottom

Day Four

9 inch Moderate, Cotton top, Windpro back - London: Annybell's Essentials
9 inch Moderate, Cotton top, Windpro back - Retro Mermaid: Beach Bottom
10 inch Moderate, Cotton top, Fleece back - Retro: Mother Moon Pads
10 inch Moderate, Cotton top, Fleece back - Matryoshka Dolls: Self-Made
10 inch Liner, Cotton top, Fleece back - Cute Woodland: Self-Made

Raising an Independent Child

One of the things that I knew, from the minute I found out I was pregnant with my first child, was that I wanted to raise children who would be independent.  I wanted my child to be self sufficient and a problem solver.  I didn't want my child leaning on me for everything - I want to raise my kids knowing that they are powerful enough to solve their own problems, and that I'd be there to back them up if they need extra help.

But that's easier said than done.  As a parent, it's hard to watch your child struggle through an issue - You want to step in and solve it for them.  Our children are the joy of our lives and it KILLS us to think that our children will need to face challenges alone.

When our children are younger, we have an opportunity to build internal strength in them.  In approaching the small challenges in the pre-school and kindergarten years with an empowering outlook, we can help our children learn a nature self sufficiency that they will carry with them as they grow... Here's what I mean:

What do you think?

Don't offer up solutions and advice to your child's problems at the beginning of any struggle.  Ask them what THEY think they should do.  Get their thoughts and ideas - help them brainstorm their own solutions.  Once they've decided on a course of action, help them to either follow through or adjust their plan if you think they need more support.  

Tell them you understand

We've all been there.  We've been in a class without friends and been scared that no one will ever like us.  We've been made fun of or bullied.  Children may encounter their first episodes of social rejection at a very young age.  Let them know that you've been there.  Let them know that it gets better.  Support them and step in if the situation is severe enough - But most of all, empower them.

  

Get outside & make friends

It's really easy nowadays to have kids indoors on the computer or playing video games more often than not - The culture of the "two income household" is upon us and we parents are often so exhausted by the end of the week that we can forget how important it is to get our kids outside.  Meeting other children and playing at the local park helps to build a child's social skills, which can help them become more independent.  Be sure that you encourage building friendships so that your children have consistent interaction with other kids their age.

Let them do it alone

If you aide/assist/help your child do every little thing, they'll never feel empowered to accomplish anything alone.  Teach your child to tie their shoes and then leave them to it.  You don't need to help your child dress once they've figured out the mechanics themselves.  Establish boundaries on both sides - let your child know that they have things that they can accomplish alone, and that some things aren't safe yet (for example, reaching a top shelf in the kitchen for a glass), so they should ask you for help in those areas.

Expand their minds

Reading.  I can't say it enough.  Make sure that you are empowering your child's fascination with the world around them.  Books are a window into the larger world and can help your child develop critical thinking skills which will help them in their problem solving.  I've done an entire post on the importance of reading, which you can read here.

Talk to them

One of the things that I wish my parents had done more with me as a child was just talking to me.  It's hard to feel supported and empowered when you feel like your parents don't know or understand you.  Ask your child how their day went.  Ask your child what they want to do this weekend.  Ask you child what makes them feel happy.  Get to know your child.

EcoMom: Recycle Your Breast Pump!

Breast is best, right?  But what happens once you've transitioned your baby over to solid foods and you no longer need your breast pump?  Do you shove your pump away in a dark closet never to see it again?  Maybe you have no idea what to do with it?  Here's a breakdown for us mom's with Medela Breast Pumps and the process of recycling our pumps once we're done with them.

Medela Recycles

If you're like me and you opted to buy a Medela breast pump, there's a really cool program that you NEED to know about.  It's called Medela Recycles.  This is a program where you can send off your old electric breast pump to be recycled at zero cost to you.  Added bonus?  Each month Medela sends a donation of two Symphony Preemie+ Breastpumps the Ronald McDonald House Charity thanks to the mom's that are recycling their old pumps through Medela Recycles - FANTASTIC! 

Many of these mom's have babies in the NICU and the only option to get breast milk to their little ones is through pumping on a daily basis.  Getting a free pump can take away just one of the added stresses that these mother's face during such a difficult time.  

Fun Fact: Medela began this recycling campaign through learning of a Change.Org petition started by a regular EcoMom looking for a way to recycle her old pump in a way that was ecofriendly.  It just goes to show that us mom's CAN make a difference!

Get more details on the program by clicking the image below!  So far, they've received almost 3,000 donations.

What if I have a Manual Pump?

Not everyone is going to have an electric pump, though, so what can you do if you'd still like to recycle your pump, but don't qualify for Medela Recycles?  If you have a manual Medela pump, you need to know that they aren't "closed system" pumps - so, essentially, they aren't really made to be used my multiple moms.

However, the good news is that Medela does make their pumps out of recyclable materials for the most part, so all you need to do is take your pump to your local recycling center and Ta-Da!  You've sent you pump to breast-pump-heaven without hurting the environment.

That's great, but my pump isn't Medela...

There are so many brands of breast pumps out there and I'm sure a few readers might not have gone with Medela as their pump choice - But it's important to empower yourself with knowledge!  Check the materials your non-Medela pump is made from and see if they're recyclable.  Go to the manufacturer's website and see if their pumps are suitable for multiple mom's - you may be able to give your pump to a friend or family member for sterilization and re-use.

Baby Bib Tutorial (0-3 Months)

I feel like there's a "newborn" version readily available in just about EVERYTHING... but I've noticed that it's really hard to find bibs that are made for smaller babies.  With both of my children, I would put a "one size" bib to contain their "spit up" and they'd end up with a ring of dampness around the neck line of their clothing before anything even touched the bib... Annoying.

My solution?  Make my own bibs!  While I will definitely NOT claim to be an expert seamstress (very far from it, actually),  bibs are super easy to put together, even for a novice.  You can "upcycle" bibs using materials already in your home (ecofriendly!), and nothing but a simple straight stitch on the most basic of sewing machines will do!

You'll need a few things to put this together, so we'll start there:

• Sewing Machine, threaded and ready to go
• Scissors (preferably fabric scissors)
• Paper & Washable marker or fabric pen
• Cotton fabric & Water resistant or absorbent fabric
• Pins or clamps to hold your fabric together
• 0-3 Month Bib Pattern

Pattern 

I've uploaded my 0-3 Month Bib Pattern in PDF format.  You can access it at the link below.  I recommend testing the pattern by holding it up to your child before cutting your fabric.  Remember that this is a scaled down bib - if you have older children, they'll need something a little larger.

• 0-3 Month Bib Pattern, PDF

Fabric Choices

Bibs serve a simple purpose for infants of this age - Keeping your baby's clothing clear of spit up and drool.  But they can also be a fashion statement!  For the top layer, or "topper," see if you have anything laying around that's bright and fun for your baby - I used an adorable 100% cotton woodland animal fabric. You can also use old flannel receiving blankets.

The bottom layer, or "backer," needs to be more functional though - This means you'll need fabric that will either resist/absorb the wet stuff, or block it all together.  I picked fleece, which is water resistant, and added an inner "hidden" layer of PUL, a synthetic material that is waterproof - but that's optional and not everyone will have PUL laying around.  You can use old towels and washcloths as backers and it will work just fine.

Stacking & Pinning

Once you've got your fabric together, use the pattern to create your template for the bib and cut out your topper and backer.  Stack them up with the "right sides" facing.  We'll be sewing this together inside-out, so whatever your want showing once you're done should be on the inside of this fabric sandwich.

Once you've lined up your fabric, pin it into place.  I used fabric pins, but you can even use paperclips if you need too - just something to hold the pieces in line while you sew.  Use as many pins/clips as you need to hold everything together.  You want to make sure that the fabric is even and that nothing is bunched up.  It should look something like this:

Sew it Together

Now it's time to get sewing!  Use a quarter inch seam allowance and sew around the shape of the bib as evenly as you can - go slow if you're new at this!  Because we are turning and top stitching the bib, remember to leave a space or "hole" of at least one inch so that you can turn the bib.  Note for you newbies: As you reach any of your pins/clips, remove them so that the needle doesn't go over them (that could break the needle and is dangerous!)

Turning

This is where it can be a struggle if you aren't careful.  Because you are making the fabric "right side out" again, you need to pull the entire bib through that tiny little gap you left open.  The first hint I have for you is to "miter" your corners - Use your fabric scissors to trim down the quarter inch seam along your curves, without cutting your stitches - trust me, this is a life saver!  

The second hint for turning your bib is be sure to pull fabric from the opposite side of the bib FIRST.  It makes things a lot easier.  Try to be as gentle as you can with the fabric.  Once you've got things right side out, use a pencil or stick to gently poke at the inside of the fabric to make sure that everything has been fully turned.  It should look something like this when you're done:

Top Stitching & Closure

Now that you've got your bib fully turned, we want to top stitch the entire thing.  This will seal the one inch hole you used for your turn space, and it will make your bib retain it's shape through use and washing.  I pin the turn space during this process - make sure that you fully close that up with your top stitch!  The goal of your seam allowance on this one should be 1/8 of an inch.  Even mine was a little off in places, so take your time and go as slow as you need too!

Once your top stitch is done, the last step is your closure.  This really depends on you - I used snaps which are so easy to do that I didn't even bother taking a photo - But you can sew on a button, or sew on velcro.  Test the bib around your baby's neck first to make sure that you don't make it too snug - remember, this pattern is already scaled down for smaller babies!

You're Done!

Once the top stitching and closure are done, you're ready to use your bib!  If you're interested in my patterns for bibs made for larger babies and toddlers, let me know.  My little girl is about to grow out of this size, so I'll be retiring my collection - But they were fun and inexpensive to make!