Creating a Birth Plan - Part Three: Postpartum

Labor and delivery are over and you're now the proud parent of a beautiful baby boy or girl (maybe both!) - But, the planning doesn't stop there.  While you've delivered your child, the journey of giving birth is not quite over yet for you and your little one.

Your postpartum care will be, in part, determined by the manner of your delivery - this includes the type of facility (or home) that you give birth in.  For home deliveries, customization and comfort will be more readily available.  For hospital births, your options may be more limited because of standard procedures in place at your hospital's labor and delivery ward.  The important thing to remember, though, is that options STILL exist.  Plan ahead and know what to expect.

• Breastfeeding:  One of the most difficult aspects of my postpartum experience with my son was breastfeeding.  I had a lactation consultant assist me when I encountered trouble and even then I wasn't as successful as I hoped I'd be.  Prior to delivery, do your research - maybe even take a class about it.  Determine the lactation assistance available at your hospital or birthing center and know at what point you'd like to have help brought in.  You should also look into breast pumps, just in case those are necessary for your child to consume breast milk.  Research baby formulas if you do not plan, or are unable, to breastfeed.
• Pain Management:  It goes without saying that you'll be slightly uncomfortable (if not MORE than slightly) following the birth of your child - whether you give birth vaginally, via c-section, with or without medication.  Discuss your pain management options with your doctor and determine what you're comfortable with - acetaminophen, percoset, etc.  If you know that you'll be having a c-section, discuss what your wound care routine will be and the timeline of recovery.
• Hospital Stay:  For those of you giving birth in a hospital, be sure that you know what normal procedure is for hospital stays for all birth options - For vaginal unmedicated, many hospitals will plan for a discharge 24 hours following birth.  For vaginal deliveries with an epidural, it might be extended.  That extension will go even further with a c-section.  Plan ahead and know what to expect.  Perhaps there is flexibility and you can opt to get out of the hospital sooner.  Discuss these options with your doctor and pack your hospital bag accordingly.
• Nursery or In Room?:  This wasn't even an option for me, but it should still be discussed for hospital deliveries.  Once you've been moved to your recovery room, would you like your child to remain in your recovery room with you, or would you prefer that your baby be taken to the hospital's nursery?  If you'd prefer the nursery, would you like your baby brought to you for feedings or would you allow the hospital staff to bottle-feed?
• Baby's First Vaccination:  Controversial topic warning!  Another consideration for a hospital birth is when and whether you would like your baby's first vaccination administered.  A pediatrician will be monitoring your child while you are in recovery and during their rounds, in the United States at least, you will given the choice to have the Hepatitis B vaccination given.  Will you be following a traditional or an altered vaccine schedule for your child?
• Circumcision:  For those moms expecting little boys, there is the question of circumcision.  This can also be a contentious topic, so I will only say that you have the option as a parent to elect to have your son circumcised, or to not have them circumcised.  The decision is yours so be sure you know the method used at your hospital and what the care instructions would be should you elect to have the procedure done.
• Guests:  Another important consideration for your recovery is who you would like to come to the hospital to visit with you and your new baby.  It's important for those giving birth in a hospital to know their hospital's rules on visitors who are under-aged, and if those policies change during flu season.  Know what visiting hours you have available and plan accordingly.  I personally chose to limit my visitors to my sisters and my parents... the woman who shared a recovery room with me opted to have 1,000,000 people with her from the minute visiting hours started until the minute they ended.

Up Next!

Hopefully this gave you a few things to think about when considering your options for postpartum care.  Next I'll be discussing emergencies - the least fun part of this series.   However, I feel it's important to plan for everything - even if it means thinking about unplanned c-sections and NICU stays.

The Thankless Job

I met a wonderful nurse during my time working for a hospice several years ago - She was battling Stage 2 Breast Cancer but still managed to come into work everyday and help those suffering from terminal illnesses - an inspiring woman!

She and I would talk about our families - like any coworkers do - and we realized that, despite a 20+ year age gap and extremely different backgrounds, we did have one very key thing in common.  We married men who already had children.

Yes, I'm a stepmother.  I don't like to discuss my stepkids on this blog, both out of respect for them and because my years as a step-parent have been a huge series of ups and downs.  As my wonderful coworker said very simply, being a step-parent is, at times, a thankless job.

If you don't already have kids, stepping into a relationship with a man who does can be extremely scary.  I didn't really know what I was getting myself into and those first years were a revolving door of me doing everything I possibly could to get my stepkids to "like" me.  It didn't work.

My relationship with my stepson has always been hard - he's extremely close to his mother and I was a very much "unwanted" addition to the family.  Even after almost 10 years, I don't think he's overly excited to see me when he comes over.   My stepdaughter and I are much closer, but as she's growing into a young lady, she's building that special bond with her mother that has added a strange dynamic to how she responds to time with me.  Don't get me wrong - my stepkids are GOOD kids and I care about them a great deal.  It's not all bad, it's not all stress.  But it's definitely difficult.

As my stepkids enter their teenage years, I've taken a different approach of simply being there when they need me, not forcing on them anything that they either don't want or aren't happy with.  This has helped our relationships tremendously, but it's still, at times, an awkward thing.  Especially when it comes time to clean up the house or eat vegetables.

You see, my parents are still married - I never had a stepmom.  I don't know what it's like to be in the home of your dad while he's married and raising children with another woman.  I don't know what it's like to be told that dad is having another baby - but not with mom, with someone else.  I don't know what it's like to be shuffled from house to house, never really being able to settle in anywhere because I pretty much live to two different places.

I've spoken to MANY women in my same situation over the years and I've come to the conclusion that's there is really NO easy way to handle being the "stepmom."  At times, things are going to be great.  Other times?  Not so much.   So what can we do keep our sanity and make our stepchildren more comfortable?

Don't Expect Miracles

If you have the expectation that you're going to immediately develop the world's strongest bond with your stepkids, you're going to be disappointed.  As much as any step-parent would wish for a strong and mutually respectful relationship with their spouse's children, it's not always possible.

Consider your relationship with your stepkids to be a constant "work in progress" - you'll have your good days, you'll have your bad days, and so long as you show those children that you care about them and want what's best for them, it WILL work out in the end.

Put Yourself In Their Shoes

This was the hardest part for me, simply because I had no frame of reference to work off of - I didn't know what my stepchildren might be feeling or thinking as my husband and I started a family together.  But the important thing is to TRY.  Remember that your spouse's kids are KIDS - some of their reactions might seem unreasonable - even overly-dramatic.  But that's to be expected from children.

Try to understand where they are coming from - Accept the fact that it may be hard for them to welcome a new person into the family when they might really wish that their parents were still together.  It's a hard thing to consider, given that you've now joined the family, but your stepchildren likely remember what it was like to have mom AND dad at home - and they probably miss it.

Don't Take It Personally

I've cried because of my stepkids before - Not in front of them, of course, but hidden away in the bathroom or in my car on the way to work.  I've been really hurt by things they've said or done - I tried SO hard for them to want me in their lives and it was really tough on me emotionally when they didn't feel the same way.

As step-parents, we just can't take it personally.  The minds of children are incredibly complicated places - it is impossible to anticipate every reaction.  You're also probably in a role where they need to respect you.  Remember your own childhood - Authority figures aren't fun for kids.  They don't want to clean their room or go to bed at 8:00pm.  They WILL challenge you.  It WILL suck.  Just don't take it personally.

All-In-One Cloth Diaper Comparison

As a cloth-mom looking to maximize savings on my cloth diaper purchases, it's really important that I know what I'm getting into before making a diaper purchase.  Clearly, every mom and every baby is different, so what works for others might not work for me, but I want to make sure I've done my research on other mom's experiences before I make a decision to buy.

So that's what we're talking about today - How to make a decision to buy a particular cloth diaper.  I am looking into All-In-One's (check out my guide to cloth diapers here) and how to decide which brand is right for you.  I wanted to look at three different major cloth diaper brands to see how they measured up against each other - I chose bumGenius, Thirsties, and Blueberry.

What to Consider

Reviews:  What do other moms say about these diapers?  Sometimes online reviews will give you more information than anything else when considering which diapers to buy.  I try to balance both the good and the bad, getting as equal an opinion as I can.

• bumGenius: On Diaper Junction, one reviewer said that the elemental AIO was "SO much more beautiful in person than I ever could have imagined. The elementals are super absorbent and I'm able to add more absorbency as needed for naps/night time which is awesome too!"  On Kelly's Closet, a different review gave a slightly less positive opinion, saying that "this diaper is ok. No leaks, but getting it on is tough because the layers don't lay flat on the smaller settings. It also takes ForEVER to dry."
• Thirsties: I found a great review on Diaper Junction for this one: "We have both Thirsties AIO size 1s and Thirsties one-size AIOs in our diaper stash. The benefit of the redesign is that these dry so much faster than the sized type that had the tunnel design - no need to turn inside out to fully dry anymore. The downside is that they don't fit our baby quite as well as the size 1s. It will pay off in the long run, though, with not having to buy extra sizing as she grows. Haven't been able to use these at night without leaking around thighs."
• Blueberry: The first review I read on this diaper at Diaper Junction said that "this diaper seems nicely made, but it is bulky and already small on my 12 lb baby. I am on the second to last snaps on the top and medium rise. There is no way this will last to 30+ pounds."  On Kelly's Closet, on review said "I like how the soaker folds out for faster drying, and how you can add additional absorbency under the soaker for heavy wetters. However, these are on the pricey side, especially since the natural fabric they use is just cotton, and not something more absorbent like bamboo or hemp, which would justify the price a bit more"

Cost: AIO's tend to be at the top of the price range for most cloth diapers - Some brands dip below $20 per diaper, others above $30.  Let's see how these do:

• bumGenius: $24.95 per diaper on CottonBabies.Com
• Thirsties: $16.50 per diaper on ThirstiesBaby.Com
• Blueberry:  $28.95 per diaper on KellysCloset.Com

Sizing and Closures:  Cloth diapering "basics" tell the informed mom that you can get a diaper in "one size" or diapers that are sized to a smaller weight range, and diapers that come with two forms of closures - Snaps and Velcro (aplix / hook and loop).  Many moms have a preference here, so this is really dependent on what you prefer.

• bumGenius: The elemental AIO is a one-size option that comes in a 3x3 snap down design and adjusts the sizing to small, medium and large sizes (approximately 8-35 lbs.)  Snap Closures.
• Thirsties: These come in two sizes - Size 1 is advertised to fit babies weighing 6-18lbs (6-8kg) and Size 2 18-40lbs (8-28kg).  You can select either Snaps or Velcro closures.
• Blueberry:  This diaper is advertised to fit babies weighing 10-35lbs, with a waist range of 9-21" (23-53 cm), thigh range of 4-12.5" (10-32 cm), and rise of 13.5-18.5" (34-47 cm). Snap Closures.

Fabric: Some moms don't have a preference, others do.  I prefer natural fibers if I get them, but not every brand has the same options to pick from.

• bumGenius: Six layers of organic cotton for absorbency inside the diaper (next to baby) with an outer waterproof synthetic layer.
  
• Thirsties: Internal trim-fitting soaker with three layers of absorbent microfiber terry, a stay-dry microfleece liner, and an outer waterproof synthetic layer.
  
• Blueberry:  This diaper has a synthetic waterproof outer layer and 10 layers of 100% cotton birdseye fabric in the wet zone.  

 How do you make your choice?

This is the hard part - which one will end up being best for you?  Blueberry's option is just too pricey for me, so it's out.  Thirsties sounds like a great option that matches cost with decent reviews... but it lacks organic materials like bumGenius. 

The middle ground then, in my opinion, is the elemental AIO from bumGenius - organic cotton, reasonable pricing, and it has the closure/fit options that I prefer.  But another mom might go a completely different way - That's the benefit of cloth diapers.  You're able to try different things out and narrow-in on what works best for you and your baby.

Which would you pick?

Moms Are Allowed to Chase Dreams

Back in December of 2010, I took a huge leap.  I was the mother of a two year-old little boy, in a loving marriage, and I had been working for close to a year with a company that I thought I could make a career with... I was also at a crossroads.

Something was missing.  I didn't know what it was, but I wasn't fulfilled - there was something lacking.  That year we traveled to Arizona for a Christmas celebration with my husband's family, and I somehow ended up in a long conversation with my sister-in-law about her struggles in getting her masters degree.

My sister-in-law is a remarkable woman - She's raising her daughter alone in Phoenix with no local family support.  While holding down a job, she also managed to attend Arizona State University and got her masters degree in Healthcare Administration.  As we talked, I started to feel this strange pull towards the idea of getting an education.  I had dropped out of college years before and never looked back... but suddenly I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I did a lot of research over the next few weeks, figured out the finances, and made the decision to go back to school.  I enrolled in a bachelor's of accounting program that started on January 2, 2011.  For the next three and a half years I worked full time, raised my son, was a wife for my husband, AND was a full time student.

I lost a lot of sleep in those years.  I missed out on a lot of time with my son and my husband.  I pulled all-nighters and worked a full day immediately after, only to come home and study some more.  It wasn't easy.

I'll admit it - I cried sometimes while I was studying, locked away in my bedroom, because I could hear my son and husband laughing and playing down the hall.  I cried because I couldn't join them.  I cried because, while I knew I was making a good decision for our family's future, I was missing out on the people that mattered most.

But, at the end of the day, I had to believe that it was okay for a mother to have a dream too.  Not just young people with no attachments... I had to believe that me, a mom in a lower-middle class family, could dream big and actually LIVE that dream.

On August 18, 2014, I graduated Cum Laude with a Bachelor's of Science in Accounting.  I have an amazing job now.  We live in a better area with top-ranked schools, my job allows my husband to stay at home with our son, and I'm FULFILLED.

I don't feel like something's missing anymore.  I don't feel like I've missed the boat on my own ambitions.  I know now that it's okay for a mom get out and chase a dream - it's okay for us to still have goals for ourselves.  If anything, I feel that I've set a better example for my son than I ever could have living the life I was before - A life where I questioned where I was going, what I was doing, and if I'd missed out.

It doesn't matter what your dream is - whether it's getting healthy, learning to sew, going back to school, re-entering the workforce, or becoming a Stay-At-Home-Mom - figure out what you need to do and chase that dream.  It's okay for us mothers to go for it - it's not sacrificing our kids.  It's setting a better example for our kids.

Inspiring Creativity in our Children

In today's society, it's so easy to fall into the trap of sitting your child in front of a TV and letting the television act an an almost "baby sitter" while you get the laundry and dishes done, cook dinner, etc.  I'll admit that the TV has helped me out at times, even though I try my best to limit the amount of time my son spends watching it.

 But why should we limit TV or video game time?  My thought process behind that is keeping my child's mind active - not letting him just sit and watch a screen.  I want his mind, hands, and voice engaged in activities that will help him grow - I want to inspire his creativity.  But what activities can do that, and why is it so important?

 

Creativity, by definition, is the use of the imagination or original ideas.  One can imply from that, in a way, that any person requires a certain amount of creativity to "think outside of the box," be unique, and push the envelope.  These are the cornerstones of successful ADULTS in every business and industry in the world.  Because of that, I feel it's a parent's responsibility to foster creative thinking in their children. 

When our children are young, they're sponges - they take in everything and absorb it as they form their personalities, values, and opinions.  As parents, we can cultivate creativity through play and interaction - This doesn't require fancy classes at special academies or going to parenting workshops.  It's all about being present in your child's life and giving them exposure to games, toys, and experiences that will help them grow into creative thinkers.

In the Cozy household, we've been on a budget since the moment our son was born.  It's not that we weren't financially ready, it's just that kids can be and generally ARE expensive to raise.  We also live in California, so things tend to be pretty pricey anyway.

When thinking of ways to keep our son occupied and engaged in the world around him we, through trial and error, found a few really cheap ways to not only keep our son laughing and smiling, but also to inspire him to think and behave creatively.

Get Your Child Outside With a Magnifying Glass: A magnifying glass is a wonderful thing.  For only a few bucks, my son and I can enjoy outdoor adventures while we walk our dog.  We examine rocks, leaves, bugs - you name it.  My son comes up with all sorts of stories about who planted the trees around our house, what the birds might be talking about, and he's convinced the the snails we see are like Turbo from the movie.

Become An Artist: Crayons are my preference for this, but colored pencils and paints serve the same purpose.  My son LOVES colors - he even has a detailed list of his ten favorites.  He likes to draw our family, our dog, wild animals, roller coasters, and has recently started making greeting cards for us.  My favorites are the ones with "I Love Mom" written on the front.

Problem Solve with Puzzles: When he was little, we bought those big 10-piece puzzles for toddlers and our son wasn't at all impressed.  However, now that he's six years-old, the more challenging 100-piece puzzles keep him interested.  We turn these puzzles into family events, getting all of us at the table, helping him to piece together a puzzle about his favorite story, movie, and even maps of the world.

Adventure in a Book: Think beyond bedtime stories and include books throughout your child's day.  It helps with their development of reading skills and also allows them to explore the joy of reading about fairy tale princesses, dashing pirates, super heroes, and even outer-space travel.  For my son, the longer the book the better.  This process has encouraged his spirit of "make believe" and has made him more interested in the world around him.

Sculpt in 3D Color: Play Doh can be bought just about everywhere and I don't think I've met a child that didn't love the stuff.  We've amassed a relatively inexpensive box filled with different colors, shapes & cutters for our son to experiment with.  This has helped with his fine motor skills and is developing his ability for artistic expression... even if he always mixes the colors up.

The Scoop on Jojoba Oil

I feel like I talk about Coconut Oil all the time, without giving a whole lot of attention to the other amazing natural oils that we can use in our skin and hair care routines - these types of natural ingredients not only cut down on the amounts of chemicals and toxins our bodies absorb on a daily basis, but they also save us money - Who doesn't want that?

So today I wanted to give you the scoop on Jojoba Oil.  This one has a funny name, so it's easy to remember, but not a lot of people actually know WHAT jojoba oil is.  Technically speaking, jojoba oil is really a wax.  It's extracted from the seeds of the jojoba plant, a species of shrub native to North America.  It is used - widely - in beauty products, and has a huge range of benefits for the hair and skin.

Skin Care

Jojoba oil is a hugely beneficial ingredient for the skin because of it's moisturizing and conditioning properties.  Used alone in small amounts (we're talking 5-10 drops), jojoba oil can double as a makeup remover, skin moisturizer, massage oil, and even a lip conditioner.  It is ideal for those with sensitive skin and can even assist in preventing razor burn following a shave or in repairing skin with sun damage. 

An additional benefit to using jojoba oil on your skin is that it doesn't leave the oily residue that many store bought creams and lotions do.  If you have a favorite body lotion that you just can't part with, you can even add jojoba oil to your store bought products to assist them in softening and moisturizing the skin - typically these products become even more effective with only 2 or 3 drops of jojoba oil added to them.

Hair Care

Because of the conditioning and moisturizing properties of natural jojoba oil, it can be a miracle worker on dry and damaged hair.   Applying a small amount (quarter-sized amount to the palm of your hand) of jojoba oil to your damp hair after a shower, concentrating on the ends, will work as a conditioning treatment to repair damage and limit frizz.

Be careful about buying shampoos and conditioners with jojoba oil already in them - because of the high frequency of chemical toxins in many store bought hair care products, you need to be wary of the "Dirty Dozen."  Many times, using the oil in it's natural form will get you the best results.

Where to Buy Jojoba Oil

While jojoba oil isn't the toughest thing in the world to find, it's not going to be in every grocery store like coconut oil is - it's also slightly more expensive than coconut oil, but still cost effective.  Depending on the size of the container, jojoba oil generally retails between $10-$20, and you can purchase it in bulk for $30-$40... though, given the tiny amount you need for hair and skin care, you likely wouldn't ever need to buy it in bulk.  Below are a few online resources for purchasing jojoba oil if you aren't able to locate any in health stores near you:

Want to know more about beauty products and their impact on your health?
Check out these articles from The Cozy Life.

Ready for Baby - Hospital Bag Edition

Time for something a bit fun, but also important for those of us moms getting ready to welcome a new baby into the family - What to include in your hospital bag!  Whether you're giving birth in a hospital or a birth center, you'll want to pack a bag in advance so that you have everything you need during labor and delivery.  Here's what I'm bringing for my hospital birth:

With my first delivery, I had no clue what to pack and ended up bringing a lot of what I didn't need, plus none of what I actually needed.  This time, I've taken a rather logical approach - everything has a purpose.  If it doesn't serve a purpose, it's not coming.

Beauty Bag

My plan for my "beauty bag" is basic and simple.  I want to be able to wash my makeup off, brush my hair and tie it back, throw on some lotion, some lip gloss, and be able to brush my teeth.  My boss was joking with me the other day that she went with a full makeup bag for her second delivery because she was mortified at how awful she looked in the photos when her first child was born... I honestly could care less and don't plan on having makeup with me.  However, I can definitely see where having some foundation and mascara could help with those photos!

Technology

My choices for my technology serve a few purposes.  My husband will be staying with me during and after delivery, and a lot of this is for him more than me - We'll be bringing our iPad, laptop, and cellphones - don't forget to bring chargers for any devices you have with you - especially your cellphone!  It's hard to announce to family that your baby has arrived without one (and who doesn't want to post a birth announcement on Facebook?).  We aren't big on fancy cameras, so we'll be using our iPhone's for photos - If you are into photography, then remember to bring your battery charger and extra memory cards for photo storage.  My husband and I also do NOT agree on music or television, so headphones are going to go a long way in keeping our sanity intact.

Comfort

This is a BIG one - Us moms need to focus on our comfort during labor - If we just pack for our baby, we run the risk of being miserable ourselves... and that's not fair.  So to prepare for ME, I have a birthing ball ready, nice fluffy pillows to cover up those limp excuses for pillows at the hospital, baggy button-up pajamas, fluffy socks and comfortable house slippers, and a nursing sports bra.

For Baby

Last time around, I had EVERYTHING my son could possibly need... and used none of it.  My hospital will be providing us with bottles if needed, diapers, wipes, etc.  They even will provide a diaper bag, a blanket, and an outfit for our little one.  There's no need to bring any of that and it's impossible to cloth diaper while in the recovery room anyway, so I never considered actually bringing my cloth diapers with me - That will start once we're at home.  All I'm bringing is a cute "coming home" outfit (both a newborn & 0-3 month outfit just in case she's big baby), a nice fluffy blanket to drape over the car seat while we're transporting her to the car and home, and her car seat with base.  That's it.  Nothing else.

What About Everyone Else?

My husband is bringing his own bag as well with a change of clothes, toiletries, snacks, and a pillow.  We have another child who will be staying with family while I'm in labor, so we've also prepared a similar bag for him to take to their house.  If you have older children who are in school, be sure that whoever is taking care of them while you are in labor have been added to their "Approved" list for pick up and drop off.  I've also given my son and my son's teacher a head's up, so it's not a shock to either of them when my family picks him up from school.

Conflicting Feelings, My Pregnancy With Baby #2

As a mother who'd secretly been hoping for a second child since about... three seconds following the birth of my first, I was a bit shocked at my reactions throughout my pregnancy with Baby #2.

I have been constantly conflicted.

You see, my son is six - he's in kindergarten and finally starting to spread his wings and become a more independent little creature.  It's a joy to watch him make new friends, learn new things, and start to truly appreciate the world around him.

For the past several months, though, my pregnancy has forced me to take a step back from my son's adventures due to various complications that kept me a home in bed, while my husband went to school functions, birthday parties, etc.

I've found myself frustrated - even angry - that I was MISSING OUT on my son in order to bring this new baby into the world.  Those feelings, not at all aimed at my unborn daughter - more of a reaction to my own limitations - shocked me.  I never would have thought that I'd be one of those "miserable pregnant ladies" ... But I think I am sometimes.  So what can I do to stop this cycle of frustration and anger in order to enjoy both my son and my pregnancy?

Accept Your Limitations

I think that we moms do occasionally hold ourselves to the "Super Mom" standard - we think that we should be able to anything and everything... and then we get upset when we can't.  It's important that we accept the fact that, while we're pretty amazing, we are NOT Super Woman.  During pregnancy, our bodies are going through so much - It's okay to be tired.  It's okay to stay in bed an extra hour and let your husband cook breakfast.  It's okay to miss the daily school drop-off because you've got severe morning sickness.

IT'S OKAY.  We can't be everywhere, we can't do everything.  Accepting that you can't do it all is the first step in limiting your frustrations when you're aren't there for EVERYTHING.  My son loves running into the room to show off a project and to let me know his spelling test scores.  He knows that his little sister is in my belly that it makes me tired sometimes... and you know what?  He understands.  He's only six and he manages to cut me more slack than I do.

Enjoy the Little Things

Recently my son participated in a Spell-A-Thon at school and parents were invited to sit in to watch as the kids all took a spelling-bee style test.  I'd worked with Baby #1 on his words at home and while he wasn't 100% perfect with everything, I knew he'd do extremely well.  That practice at home was so much fun - he started quizzing me too and it ended in fits of giggles as I tried to spell "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" (I couldn't, by the way).

The day of the Spell-A-Thon arrived and I couldn't make it - between feeling incredibly rundown (did I mention I'm 9 months pregnant?), having extremely swollen feet that made walking a problem, AND work, I had to miss it.  My husband attended in my place... and I was miserable.  I wanted to be there SO badly.  So, instead of enjoying the memory of those giggles from preparing for the Spell-A-Thon, I could only focus on the fact that I wasn't there for the main event.

...and that's not fair to me or to my son.  We had an absolute BLAST studying his spelling words and he shared the entire story about the Spell-A-Thon with me that night at home.  These moments doing homework - while they may not stick out as "monumental" in the grand scheme of things - are still important and I should still be able to enjoy them, not focus on all of the other things that I couldn't participate in.

Super Mom Image (c) Rogue Attire

What Cloth Diaper Is Right For You?

One thing that can be exceptionally overwhelming about jumping into cloth diapering is the VARIETY.  When you're buying disposables, it's simply a matter of size.  Some moms have preferred brands, but otherwise it's a very simple process of selecting a number, usually 1-6, and taking the diapers to the check-out counter.

Cloth diapering, however, has a myriad of options that, at first, can be extremely hard to understand.  How do you know what to buy if you've never done it before?  While you'll need to research TONS of different topics (detergents, wipes, prep, etc), it's often easiest to start with one simple question: What types of cloth diapers can I buy?

Flats 

These are, as you many have guessed, flat diapers (think "old school" cloth diaper).  They are a sheet of absorbent fabric that you fold and fasten around your baby.  These come in a number of different fabrics, most commonly hemp and cotton.  They are inexpensive for the most part, but also require accessories in order to function.  With flats, you are dealing with just a sheet of fabric - it's not waterproof and it has no closures or fasteners to hold it together.  Nowadays, flats are most commonly used with snappi (or similar) fasteners and waterproof diaper covers.

Shopping resources for Flats:

Prefolds 

Much like flats, prefolds are a sheet of absorbent fabric that is folded and fastened around your baby.  They are different from flats in that they come "pre-folded" (hence the name).  Typical prefolds have a central panel that is much thicker than the outer sections, providing additional absorbency.  As with flats, prefolds need a few accessories in order to work as a diaper, given that they are not waterproof and have no closure to hold them together.  Snappi's and waterproof diaper covers do the trick with these as well.

Shopping resources for Prefolds:

Fitted

Another form of cloth diaper that doesn't have a waterproof layer, fitted diapers are generally made from the same materials used for flats and prefolds: cotton, hemp, etc.  These, however, actually LOOK like a diaper.  Where flats and prefolds need to be folded and fastened into shape, fitted diapers come already shaped, have closures, and are available in different sizes to offer a good fit for your baby.  You would need to place a waterproof cover over the top of a fitted in order to avoid leakage.

Shopping resources for Fitteds:

Diaper Cover / Diaper Shell

A "cover" lacks any absorbent layers and is just the shell utilized with flats, prefolds, and fitted diapers in order to make them waterproof.  Most covers are made using TPU and PUL, synthetic fabrics that come in a variety of patterns and colors, and have either velcro or snap fasteners built into them.  Used alone, these would do nothing for your baby - they absolutely must have an absorbent diaper under them in order to function.  These can be purchased in specific sizes, or in adjustable "one size" options.

Shopping resources for Covers/Shells:

Pocket

Pocket diapers have a waterproof shell with closures and a soft inner liner, typically microfleece, that then needs to be stuffed with a diaper insert for absorbency.  Inserts come in a variety of fabrics and you can generally swap out most inserts and use them for multiple diapers, or use multiple inserts at a time for added absorbency.  Most brands offer pocket options in single sizes and "one size" adjustable options.

Shopping resources for Pockets: 

 

All In One (AIO)

This diaper is the most similar cloth option to a disposable - this is because it's waterproof, absorbent, and has closures all in one piece, with nothing to add, stuff, or layer.  Like pockets, AIO's can come in single sizes and "one size" adjustable options.  These are also, generally speaking, the most expensive of the cloth diaper options on the market.  Another downside is dry time - because these diapers have layers of absorbent material and the outer shell all connected together, they will take longer than other cloth diapers to dry after washing.

Shopping resources for AIO's:

All In Two (AI2) / Hybrid

All In Two diapers are, in my opinion, a kind of cross between a pocket diaper and an AIO.  They look a lot like an AIO, but their inner absorbent layer can be detached and replaced.  While that might sound A LOT like a pocket diaper, AI2's outer layer can often be reused once the soiled insert is detached, where a pocket diaper (and an AIO) must be completely replaced at each diaper change.

Shopping resources for AI2's: