CLOSED Giveaway! Farmerkids Organics!

It's finally time!  The Cozy Life Cloth Re-Launch!  I'm excited to be re-energizing the blog with such a special giveaway - I have partnered with an eco-friendly clothing brand, Farmerkids Organics, to raise awareness to the benefits of organic clothing for our children... and to get you guys some free stuff!!

Before we get into the specifics of the giveaway, let's talk about Farmerkids for a second - This wonderful brand, created by the fabulous Gabrielle and based in NYC, is a brand of children's clothing and accessories that combines whimsy with ecofriendly - using embroidered designs on 100% organic cotton in a range of goodies for our little ones including t-shirts, bibs, onesies, and hats.

My personal favorites are the personalized products that you can customize specific to your child and family.  I thought the onesie my daughter received, with "C is for Cozy Life" embroidered on the front, was absolutely adorable.  In addition to being high quality and looking fantastic, the organic cotton is super comfy.  My daughter isn't a big fan of clothing in general, but this onesie was so soft that she barely raised a fuss at all when I put it on her.

More so than it's cuteness, this onesie is an automatic favorite of mine because I know that the fabric is organic.  Organic cotton fabric is created using organically grown cotton crops - this cotton isn't treated with chemical pesticides or herbicides and as a result, it uses much, much, MUCH less water during harvesting and processing.  This also means that it's less likely to irritate your child's skin.

Want to learn more about Farmerkids Organics?  Check out their website, and follow them on twitter, facebook, or pinterest! 

... now let's talk about the giveaway

You want one of these personalized onesies or t-shirts now too, don't you?? Okay, here's the scoop on the giveaway. In order to qualify for the giveaway, you'll need to do a few quick things: Below is the fancy entry form - you have FOUR ways to enter.  In order to qualify you must be 18 years or older and live in the United States.

The giveaway will end on August 31st and the winner will be announced on September 1st!  Good luck!

**Giveaway is now closed**

Congrats to Susan D. for winning!

Cozy Life, Part Deux

I've thinking about my blog a lot lately, and I think that I've lost my way a little.  The excitement of high readership and the opportunity to work with amazing brands and companies has slowly made my blog drift away from what I had intended in to do in the beginning.  A family and parenting focused blog on living an ecofriendly lifestyle.

So, starting today, you're looking at The Cozy Life CLOTH!  Same format, but I'm keeping my content close to my heart - reusables and ecofriendly choices for women, children, and families.  I'm looking forward to revitalizing my content and getting the word out on cloth and it's benefits for our kids - Love you all!  Thank you for your support of this crazy project!

What's coming up?

Tattooed Mommy: The Struggle is Real

I'm a fan of body art - I have tattoos on both of my arms, one of my legs, and one on my back.  I cover my tattoos up at work, but once I'm at home (and around my children) the long sleeves, pants, and bracelets are traded in for comfy clothes that don't need to cover up my "ink."

When my son was a toddler, I can remember him touching my tattoos with a quizzical look on his face as he proceeded to rub my wrist with his chubby little hand, trying to get my tattoo off of my skin... But as he's gotten older, I don't think my son even notices my tattoos anymore.  My four month-old daughter is just now starting to notice, and she too seems confused - but I know that confusion will soon fade as the tattoos become just another part of mommy.

With my kids, the issue isn't a big deal - I don't associate my tattoos with an "alternate lifestyle" choice, nor do I feel like I'm in some way different from those who choose not to get tattoos... But the unfortunate truth is that a few members of the "Mommy Brigade" don't agree.  It seems okay to them for Dad's to have body art, but us Mom's?  It just doesn't seem as accepted.  

Now I'm not trying to make generalizations - I know I'm not the only mom out there with tattoos and I know that mother's without body art aren't all overly judgmental about it... But there seems to be a view that some people have about the inappropriateness of tattoos on a mother's body that feel completely free to share their negative views with us "tattooed hoodlums" - The view that we need to cover them up around our kids.  That we need to tell our children that tattoos aren't okay.

Screw that.

The stereotype that "tattoos are for criminals and drug addicts" is an irresponsible one that I think motivates a lot of the negative thoughts toward body art... and please don't quote Leviticus - It speaks against the use of body art in pagan rituals, and I can assure you, I've never taken part in any ancient druidic rites of passage. 

Tattoos are a type of personal expression - just like this blog is.  Yes, they're permanent and need to be thought over carefully before committing to them.  But when a tattoo truly means something to you, it becomes as much a part of you as your skin was before the tattoo was put there.  My tattoos stand for my heritage, my desire for truth and joy in life, and my love of fantasy. How can those things corrupt my children?  I've even seen a Facebook group literally titled "Your Tattoos Make You A Horrible Mother" - Seriously??

Source Unknown (Share in Comments if you know!)

As my children grow my husband and I plan to encourage them to be who they truly want to be.  If that means body art, I'm fine with it.  If that means no body art, I'm fine with it.  For those parents out there who view my tattoos as inappropriate and turn their children the other way when the Jabberwocky tattoo on my leg is out for the world to see, know that you've got much bigger fish to fry than a harmless tattoo.  

This world is full of hateful and frightening things that we need to shield our kids from.  Worry about bigotry and teach your child to love others - not about a tattoo that is composed of imagery that neither hurts nor demeans anyone else.

Raising an Independent Child

One of the things that I knew, from the minute I found out I was pregnant with my first child, was that I wanted to raise children who would be independent.  I wanted my child to be self sufficient and a problem solver.  I didn't want my child leaning on me for everything - I want to raise my kids knowing that they are powerful enough to solve their own problems, and that I'd be there to back them up if they need extra help.

But that's easier said than done.  As a parent, it's hard to watch your child struggle through an issue - You want to step in and solve it for them.  Our children are the joy of our lives and it KILLS us to think that our children will need to face challenges alone.

When our children are younger, we have an opportunity to build internal strength in them.  In approaching the small challenges in the pre-school and kindergarten years with an empowering outlook, we can help our children learn a nature self sufficiency that they will carry with them as they grow... Here's what I mean:

What do you think?

Don't offer up solutions and advice to your child's problems at the beginning of any struggle.  Ask them what THEY think they should do.  Get their thoughts and ideas - help them brainstorm their own solutions.  Once they've decided on a course of action, help them to either follow through or adjust their plan if you think they need more support.  

Tell them you understand

We've all been there.  We've been in a class without friends and been scared that no one will ever like us.  We've been made fun of or bullied.  Children may encounter their first episodes of social rejection at a very young age.  Let them know that you've been there.  Let them know that it gets better.  Support them and step in if the situation is severe enough - But most of all, empower them.

  

Get outside & make friends

It's really easy nowadays to have kids indoors on the computer or playing video games more often than not - The culture of the "two income household" is upon us and we parents are often so exhausted by the end of the week that we can forget how important it is to get our kids outside.  Meeting other children and playing at the local park helps to build a child's social skills, which can help them become more independent.  Be sure that you encourage building friendships so that your children have consistent interaction with other kids their age.

Let them do it alone

If you aide/assist/help your child do every little thing, they'll never feel empowered to accomplish anything alone.  Teach your child to tie their shoes and then leave them to it.  You don't need to help your child dress once they've figured out the mechanics themselves.  Establish boundaries on both sides - let your child know that they have things that they can accomplish alone, and that some things aren't safe yet (for example, reaching a top shelf in the kitchen for a glass), so they should ask you for help in those areas.

Expand their minds

Reading.  I can't say it enough.  Make sure that you are empowering your child's fascination with the world around them.  Books are a window into the larger world and can help your child develop critical thinking skills which will help them in their problem solving.  I've done an entire post on the importance of reading, which you can read here.

Talk to them

One of the things that I wish my parents had done more with me as a child was just talking to me.  It's hard to feel supported and empowered when you feel like your parents don't know or understand you.  Ask your child how their day went.  Ask your child what they want to do this weekend.  Ask you child what makes them feel happy.  Get to know your child.

My kid hates reading... Now what?

I have always, always LOVED to read.  I was that kid who memorized Berenstain Bear books when I was four and had a Lord of the Rings book under my belt at age ten (Fellowship of the Ring, if you care to know).  But not all kids are like that... in fact, a lot of children out there would go as far as to say they "hate" to read.  Why?  Reading, at the beginning, is hard.  Sometimes, if the topic of the book isn't interesting to you, reading is also boring.

How can we as parents encourage a love of reading?  

Why is it important to try?

Reading = Success

Perhaps it's a slight over-simplification to say that being a strong reader will make you more successful, but it isn't completely misleading.  Study after study shows that adults who were strong readers as children have better communication skills, are creative thinkers, and are more successful in college.   Why wouldn't us parents want those things for our kids?

Reading opens the mind up to new ideas, alternative perspectives, and gets our children asking questions about the world around them.  This process helps our children to have active minds - to gain awareness of the larger world.

But my kid doesn't like to read!

It's all well and good to talk about why a child should be encouraged to read, but it's another thing altogether to talk about how to foster a love of reading.  Because of the "hard" and "boring" elements that often make reading a struggle for younger children, us parents need to get creative.  I'll bet that your child who "hates" reading is being exposed to books that are either too challenging for them or are about something they aren't interested in.

So here are three tips for you, the parent with the anti-reader child, to convince your little one to give reading another chance...

1. Pick books that your child WANTS to read.

What movies or games does your child enjoy?  My son is obsessed with Minecraft - so I bought him Minecraft books.  My son loves Disney and Pixar movies - so I bought him books about his favorite characters.  If you know your child, which I'm assuming you do, you'll know what books will be a good fit for them... and try to avoid forcing your childhood favorites on them.

Kids nowadays are very different from the way we were back in the 70's and 80's (or, dare I say it, the 90's... I feel so old sometimes).  While the occasional Dr. Seuss book might be fun, the kids of today have shorter attention spans than we did - they are a product of the technology age and some older books are really outdated, despite our love of them.  Be selective and if your child doesn't like a book, don't make them read it over and over again.  Donate it.  Give it to your neighbor.  Let that book find it's way to the hands of a child that will love it.

2. Find books that are "reading level" appropriate.

Once you've determined the kind of books your child will love, be sure that they are appropriate for your child's reading level.  Every child learns at a different pace, so you'll want to find books that will challenge them to a certain point, but will still be fun for them.  Putting a chapter book in front of most kindergarteners would be a disaster.  But, if your little reader is advanced, maybe they're ready for something a bit longer and more complex.

Sit with your child and read a few books with them to figure out exactly where your child is at if you aren't sure.  My son, for example, is a little bit behind the average kindergartener when it comes to reading - so we're still focused on getting him up to kindergarten level this summer, rather than frustrating him with books that he simply cannot read yet. Accept your child where they're at and introduce the occasional challenge to get them progressing.

3. Read with them.

Above all else, you need to read with your child - even if they're strong readers and naturally love to sit down with a book, we parents MUST make time to read with our kids.  Just sitting them down with a book doesn't help them.  Read with them.  Have them read to you.  Do it every day.

I'm a working mom and we have a three month-old, so I'm often exhausted by the time my son is ready for bed and wants "story time" - so my husband is usually the one who reads with him.  But, whoever is doing it, it's done every single day.  Despite his reading challenges, my son has progressed immensely over the last year... and I feel it's because we made reading a priority for ourselves as much as we made it a priority for him.

Reading is important, and it isn't a chore.  Let your child see the joy in it, and if you haven't found that joy for yourself, perhaps you will through the exercise of helping your child.

Why Cloth? An Opinion Piece.

Outside of my blog, cloth diapers and cloth pads really don't come up in conversation all that much.  It's just my "normal" - I don't expect those using disposables to scream it from the rooftops, so why should I?  I'm an advocate for this "lifestyle choice," but I advocate for cloth through this medium - a blog - not sandwich boards and flyers to my friends, family, and co-workers.

But when it does come up, my friends and family recoil.  Laugh.  Grimace.  I get responses like "Eww," "How gross," and "Why????"  Oddly enough, my husband and father - two manly men - have been the only ones to not be "grossed out" by my decision to pursue reusable products.  Even my sisters and mother have been weirded out by the concept of RUMP's (reusable menstrual products) and cloth diapers.

So, out of frustration, I'm writing this.  I feel, somewhere deep down, like this choice needs to be JUSTIFIED.  Why?  I don't know - perhaps society's view that anything outside of the "norm" is in some way threatening to peace and prosperity?  The world around me seems to think I'm some sort of crack-pot who sunbathes naked in my backyard and eats insects for breakfast, all because I don't buy into highly processed, chemically laden,  plastic diapers and pads.

Why am I against disposables?

It take 800 years for a disposable sanitary pad or diaper to decompose in a landfill.  800 YEARS.  The diapers that I used as a baby are sitting somewhere, right now... Still.  That's disgusting.  In fact, some studies suggest that a pad (much smaller than a diaper) contains the same amount of plastic that is in FOUR plastic grocery bags.

What are disposables made of, you ask?  Here's the interesting thing: Major producers like Always and Kotex don't disclose the contents of their sanitary products because in the United States they are classified as "medical devices" and can get away with a lack in transparency.  They will admit that their products have patented synthetic absorbent materials (Always, for example, will admit to having Infinicel in their pads... what that is, I have no clue), but that's it.

Through the investigation of those like me who are frightened by the lack of information on disposable products, it's been determined that disposable sanitary napkins and tampons contain things like dioxins, synthetic fibers and petrochemical additives.  Do you know what those things are?  Probably not.

Here's the simple explanation: The contents of feminine hygiene products include small amounts of chemicals that can cause skin irritation, embryonic development issues, reproductive problems, heart disease, and organ damage.  Disposable diapers treated with chlorine can also have trace amounts of dioxins as well, which are classified as a "likely human carcinogen" ... and to those of you that don't know, carcinogen = cancer causing.  Now, to be fair, many of these chemicals are present in TINY amounts so the chances of getting an illness is exceptionally minimal.

However... TSS, Toxic Shock Syndrome, is a concern that I just can't ignore relating to the use of disposables.  This sometimes deadly disease is frightening and 100% preventable - While rare, this illness has frightening consequences.  Get more details on TSS by clicking here.

Have I "converted" anyone to cloth?

Yes, I have.  A coworker of mine just ordered her first cloth pad last week.  My father has bought me so many cloth diapers that I barely had to invest in my daughter's stash.  My husband is a SAHD and he deals with more cloth diapers than I do.

Here's the thing though - "converting" people to cloth isn't a sign that cloth use is accepted by the general public and I'm not collecting a headcount of "conversions" to prove my point.  The majority of people that I talk to aren't open to cloth - plain and simple.  They would rather not deal with IT.  "It" being blood, feces, and urine... The idea of reusable products is distasteful to people because it means greater contact with bloody fluids that our society has deemed shameful or gross.

Those of us that use cloth are a minority.  While I will mention these types of products to the people I love and trust, it's not something that most of them are willing, even in the hypothetical, to consider.  This concept of reusable cloth products will be new to the vast majority of the people I talk too - so I explain it if they're open to it, and hopefully it will get them thinking.

But cloth products are SO expensive!

For the cost of 2 cloth diapers, I could buy 60-100 disposables.  For the cost of 1 cloth pad, I could buy a pack of 45-60 disposables... But here's what you need to keep in mind when first buying reusable products.  THEY ARE REUSABLE.  In less than a month, all of those disposable diapers and pads I mentioned above?  Gone.  The 2 cloth diapers and 1 cloth pad?  Years from now, they'll still be here and still be working just as well as they did the day that I bought them.

Reusables are an investment.  Don't let the sticker shock stop you - Buy slowly if you need to.  I spent most of my pregnancy stocking up on cloth diapers & accessories.  Can you sew?  Make your own cloth products!  There are so many tutorials on blogs and YouTube to walk you through the basics, and DIY'ing can save you tons of money.

Do your research & Don't knock it 'till you try it

If you're reading this and you've never tried a cloth product, get over the "gross" factor and do your research.  Get on YouTube and watch a tutorial on how to clean a cloth pad.  Read one of my posts on cloth diapering and what you need to give it a shot.  

Bottom line: reusable cloth products are safer for your family - that's the honest truth.  Don't knock it 'till you try it.  I have loved the experience with both my daughter and myself.  Cloth diapering is FUN.  The prints are beautiful and she's had so few diaper rashes that I'm angry I didn't do this with my son.  Cloth pads have made a formerly miserable experience (having a period) exciting - I can't wait to try my new Yurtcraft pads this month!  I'm also a lot more "in tune" with my body now, which is a priceless and empowering thing, don't you think?

Cloth Diapers: Off Brand vs. Name Brand

Today we're going to talk about these "Ebay" diapers.  They are off-brand diapers that you can buy for less than $2 each (on EBay, hence the name I've given them!).  Incredibly cheap and often made of similar materials as brands like Kawaii, Thirsties, bumGenius, etc... these seem like a win/win - Cheap and effective... Right?  Not so much.

I'm not going to mention specific sellers or bad mouth anyone here - some of you may find these budget diapers to work perfectly for you and your baby.  I, however, have had some issues.  Here we go!

For this post, I'll be comparing my cheapest "name brand" one-size pocket diaper, a Kawaii Baby Cross-Over Squared Tab Pocket Diaper that cost $7.15, to an off-brand "cheapy" one-size pocket diaper that I purchased from EBay for $1.60.  

Below is a shot of the two diapers laying out flat - Perhaps it isn't as visible, but can you tell how bunched up the Kawaii diaper is, while the cheaper one is almost laying completely flat?  Both diapers claim to fit babies 8-36 pounds, but the Kawaii diaper is WAY larger and will likely fit my daughter for much longer... Not that this was a total loss though.  The EBay diaper actually fit my daughter when she was a newborn, while the Kawaii was far too big for her.

Now let's talk about the snaps.  Kawaii (and most other diaper companies) designed their one-sized diaper with three snap closures on each side of the diaper (this really helps with a one-sized diaper - seriously).  Two are for the fit at the waist and the third is for the fit at the thigh.  For a one-size diaper, this gives you the chance to adjust how the diaper fits based on the size of your baby.  The EBay diaper only has the two snaps at the waist, leaving you with less options for good fit... which allows for more shifting of the diaper around baby's thighs, thus increasing the chance of leakage.

One more thing about the snaps: I love the "pop" that you get when you secure a snap on a cloth diaper.  That "pop" lets you know that the diaper is secure... the EBay diaper has snaps that don't give you that "pop," and in fact, the snaps on these diapers tend to come loose.  Below is a shot of the diaper immediately after I put it on my daughter, with the outside snaps already pulling apart.

Another of my major issues with these cheap diapers is the leg gusset - the gathered area of fabric that fits around baby's thigh and groin.  This area needs to be snug and stretchy.  If it's not, the diaper won't work and you'll get leaks EVERYWHERE.  Here's the single gusset on both of these diapers - see the difference?  The cheapy diaper has an almost flat gusset!  The Kawaii diaper hardly ever has leakage problems.  The EBay diaper?  Every. Time.

Finally, since this is a post about pocket diapers, let's talk about the inserts and the actual "pocket" itself.  Both diapers came with two inserts - Kawaii sent microfiber, the cheaper diapers came with non-organic cotton.  The microfiber works better from an absorption standpoint... But even if you prefer cotton (which I do - preferably organic), look how massive that insert is!!!   It's incredibly ill-fitting for the diaper.  So much so, I don't even use it.  I have to fold it multiple times (both length and width) to get it inside the pocket, which drives me NUTS.

The pocket on the Kawaii diaper also has a lip of fabric that stops the insert from shifting out of the back of the diaper - we've had a few issues with the cheaper diapers, where the insert slid out of the diaper and started rubbing against my daughter's back.  Not good.

Final thoughts?  If you really want to save money, go with quality over price.  Find a brand that actually works and are still cost effective, like Kawaii Baby.  If you want to splurge, grab one or two bumGenius, Rump-a-roos, or Thirsties - maybe even put a few on your baby registry and have other people buy them for you - that's what I did!  

There are also a lot of great WAHM shops on Etsy that carry really high quality, handmade diapers - and they aren't that expensive.  While each shop and maker is different, I'd rather risk the chance on a handmade diaper than a mass-produced cheapy diaper.

Review: NewAir Outdoor Misting Fan, AF-520B

If you're new to my blog, you may not know that I recently relocated to the central valley of California.  The weather here is NUTS - super dry all year-round, and crazy HOT during the spring and summer (we're talking 100°+ for six months out of the year - yuck).  So when I had the chance to try out the NewAir Outdoor Misting Fan, I jumped at it (it's the AF-520B model if you want to check one out!).  

Assembly

While the fan arrived in an impressively sized box, there was still assembly required.  Luckily, I've spent hours putting together modular furniture in the past, so I figured this would be a breeze.  The fan came in five large pieces, taking around five to ten minutes to put together.  As far as what you'll need - all it takes is a phillips-head screwdriver (though I had to use two - one small, one large).  The instructions were a little confusing, but I was able to figure them out once I re-read a few parts and consulted the handy diagrams they included.  I felt that the fan itself was really high quality and well designed, which is huge plus.

Indoor Use

This fan is technically an "outdoor misting fan" but I gave it a go inside first, just to make sure everything worked right.  While you will have the water tubing to deal with (I wrapped it around the base of the fan), it works just fine inside - the fan is a good size and the three different speed settings make it work for small and large rooms.

Outdoor Misting Use

My son was so excited to hook up the fan to water and give the misting a try - what I really liked was the "on" and "off" switch for the water - I can imagine this will help me avoid future "accidental misting" issues when setting up the fan :)  The set up was fairly simple, but I did have to use an extension cord because the plug on the fan was too large to hook up to our exterior power outlet, which has a safety cover (as most outdoor outlets do, I would assume).  

Once the water was going, I knew I was in LOVE with this fan.  The amount of "mist" is perfect - keeps you cool but doesn't drench you - and once the weather heats up, I can see my family using this thing A LOT.  Depending on how far you want the misting to spray, you can increase or decrease the speed of the fan.  The product itself is very sturdy as well, so I can see it handling windy days with no problems.

Final Thoughts

If you had asked me before trying this fan whether I would want to buy it or not, I probably would have said no.  Who needs a fan that shoots water at you??  ... but now that I've tried it, I'd recommend it to anyone that lives somewhere hot.  This fan might actually get us outside more in the summer, which will mean a lot to my kids. If you want more information on this product, check out the NewAir website or like them on Facebook!

Demonstration

Here's a quick video showing the fan in action!  Take a look:

Fine Motor Boot Camp: For Big Kids

After my son started kindergarten, it became clear that his fine motor skills needed work.  He was struggling with his handwriting and drawing, and it was impacting his confidence at school.  I spoke with the occupational therapist at the school district and she boiled my son's challenges down to one core problem: weak muscles his hands and wrists.

It's not that my son doesn't have the ability to write - he just does it sloppy.  It isn't that he can't draw a person, he just does it sloppy.  The refined movements needed to be more precise required stronger and better "trained" muscles - his hands and wrists needed a workout!

I did a lot of research and found that the majority of fine motor "activities" are geared toward younger kids - toddlers - to develop fine motor skills that were a bit too basic for my kindergartener.  What fun things could I do with my six year-old that would challenge him and still keep him entertained?

The activity that I'm showing you today is super basic, but still fun and useful for fine motor skills.  All that you'd need are pipe cleaners and any kind of sequins you can find.  Sequins, typically, has a very small hole somewhere - that hole is important for this project so be sure yours has them!  We were aiming to make a "garden" this time, so I found large flower and leaf-shaped ones.  Since this is still aimed at the kiddos, try to keep it fun with bright colors and various shapes.

Let's make things!

The first step in fine motor development is picking out the sequins they would like to use - the pincer grasp on these tiny, thin pieces of plastic is a workout on the small muscles in the hand.  Once your child has picked out enough pieces for your project (my son selected about 30 to cover two pipe cleaners), you're ready to get started on the assembly.

Because the sequins is so small and the pipe cleaner has that fluffy bit that fights against threading the sequins, this might be challenging for your child at first - I helped out by holding the pipe cleaner steady while my son figured out the mechanics of lining up the sequins with the pipe cleaner and how much pressure he needed to get the sequins to slide on.

After a while, my son was able to thread the sequins solo - as you watch your child do this, you'll notice how many precise hand movements this seemingly basic activity uses.  We even took a quick break to grab a snack after one pipe cleaner was done because my son's hands had started to get a little sore.

Once your pipe cleaners are done, twist them together to create "vines" - and Ta-Da!  Your "garden" is complete!  If a "garden" isn't up your child's alley, make other shapes and designs by connecting different colored pipe cleaners together after threading on the sequins - we've made crowns and bracelets before, so encourage your child to be creative and have fun.

The One-Size Cloth Diaper Debate

I think that all of us parents can agree that saving time and money is an ideal goal for anything.  We're already running around like crazy and wasting our precious resources on something that doesn't make our lives easier?  Insanity!  

When it come to cloth diapering, one might assume that buying "one-size" options is the money saving way to go - these diapers can "grow with your baby," right?  Well... maybe.

 

The basic idea behind a one-size cloth diaper is that, through a series of snap closures, you can adjust the way the fabric is secured around your baby - this allows for a hypothetical 8lb baby to fit into the same diaper as a hypothetical 30lb toddler.  But does it really work as easy as that?

In my experience, I've only dealt with BIG babies.  My son was born weighing in at a burly 9lb 4oz, and my daughter at a slightly more modest 8lb 0oz.  Even under those circumstances - where the newborn was actually larger than the typical minimum weight for a one-size diaper (8lbs) - the diapers were far too bulky and just not practical at first.  My kids used newborn specific cloth diapers for at least the first month, if not a little longer.

I currently have a two month-old (the daughter I mentioned earlier) and she's only just now wearing the one-size diapers from our stash.  She's about 12lbs now - and in my experience, the 12lb mark is generally the smallest that I feel confident with.  A poor fit (i.e. a too big diaper on a too small baby) can lead to leaking, and, in the words of my idol Sweet Brown:

What brands work best on small babies?

There is some variation on the sizes of one-size diapers... as odd as that sounds.  I've found that buying the "cheapy" brands off of eBay (try this link) generally results in slightly tighter fits - of course, they will also fit tighter as your child grows, so they won't last as long.  Snaps on these are also lower quality, so buy at your own risk.

If you want to be sure your diapers are either locally made or if you're a "name brand" kind of parent, the Rum-A-Rooz OS diaper fits a lot more snug on my kids than others and has a really adjustable fit around the legs if your baby has "thunder thighs" like mine did/do.  Kawaii Baby OS diapers are a great option for parents on a budget - these work okay as well, though still a bit bulky on a 12-13lb baby.

What does a OS cloth diaper look like on an infant?

This is my daughter in a Kawaii Baby OS - as I mentioned above, she weighs 12lbs now.  This diaper, hypothetically speaking, should fit an 8lb newborn... and to be honest with you, I can't buy into that.  Yes, there are smaller adjustments to the fit at the waist and thigh than what she's wearing here, but you'd force that poor newborn into doing the splits with all that bulk - Do you see what I mean? 

Five Weight Loss Promises to Myself

Today I am embarking on my postpartum weight loss journey.  I have weighed myself for the first time since giving birth, I've dusted off my workout gear, and I'm ready.  But!  Before I start this adventure, I'm setting boundaries.  Weight loss is an incredibly emotional journey, in addition to the physical transformation - A woman can ruin her self-esteem and create unrealistic goals for herself that will only set her up for failure... I won't do that to myself.  Below are my "Five Weight Loss Promises to Myself" - my boundaries for both my physical and emotional well-being:

I will love myself, no matter what.

Society sets women up for serious self-esteem issues and the levels of self-hate running through many woman because of their weight is disgusting.  I don't care how "chubby" I may be, I will love myself for who I am.  My weight loss is for health reasons, not to fit into a tiny bikini.  Yes, looking great in a pair of skinny jeans will be awesome, but that's not why I'm doing this.  I'm doing this to be in a position where I can keep up with my kids and live a long, healthy life.

This is a lifestyle change - not a diet.

I can't do diets.  They are restrictive and NOT fun.  If this is going to work, this is a change of my eating habits and lifestyle - this is permanent, not a fad, and it will be a slow process of figuring out what works, and cutting out what doesn't.  If I treat this as a diet, I'll likely end up miserable and need "cheat" days to keep it up - that's not the goal here.  This is changing my approach to eating and fitness in a way that is sustainable.

I will workout.

I was on workout restrictions starting at 9 weeks during my pregnancy, so it's been close to a YEAR since I tried any form of fitness routine.  This won't be easy to start up again, because I can tell that I've lost a lot of strength and endurance - But that's okay!  We all start somewhere.  I am committed to working out and slowly building to where I was before.

I accept that this won't happen overnight.

Expecting immediate results isn't realistic.  In fact, doing so will probably make me thoroughly disappointed.  It took me 10 months to gain these extra 30 pounds, and thinking that I'll get them all off in less time than that is just ridiculous.  I'm in this for the long haul and I will be patient with my body as it gets back to a healthy place.

I will not be victim to the scale.

I weighed myself today.  I will not return to that scale until next week.  Daily weigh-in's are crazy to me - I've done it before and it wasn't good for my emotional health.  Our bodies fluctuate so much and depending on daily numbers can make you a slave to your scale.  I won't do it.  Every Saturday - that's it.  No more.  Plus, there are so many other ways to track your progress - how your clothing fits, measuring, etc.

At the end of the day, any person's weight loss journey is intensely personal and we all have different limits.  These are my promises to myself - What are yours?

Breastfeeding Guilt - My Story

We all know that breastfeeding is the best way to feed your infant.  There's no contesting that fact.  As you progress through your first pregnancy, you'll likely look up nipple creams, breast pads, and breast pumps - all in preparation for feeding your baby the way that everyone agrees is healthiest.   Way to go, Mom!

What no one ever seems to talk about is when a baby has a bad latch - or what happens when mom's milk never comes in - or when mom can't produce enough.  What people never seem to talk about it the fact that breastfeeding doesn't always work, and it can be devastating for a mother.

With my first baby, breast milk caused my son excessive levels of reflux, regardless of the diet I maintained.  Every time I fed him, he would spit up most or all of what he ate.  He began losing precious amounts of weight and both myself and my son's pediatrician were worried for his health.  I worked with lactation consultants, ate nothing but plain oats and water, pumped my milk and gave it to my son in a bottle... Nothing worked.  The result?  Formula feeding.   I cried and felt like a failure - My own breast milk was harming my baby.

My sister, who had two children of her own when my son was born, had breastfed her kids without ANY issues, even feeding her daughter until she was almost two years-old - how had she done so well and I couldn't manage even a single month?  These feelings of inadequacy fed into my "baby blues," which eventually crossed the threshold into full-on postpartum depression.  What should have been the most beautiful time of my life turned very, very dark.  My husband was hugely effected by it, and I couldn't control it.

How to Stop the Guilt

"Breastfeeding Guilt," as I call it, should be stopped before it even starts.  I think that mother's nowadays are under so much pressure from EACH OTHER to be "all natural" and "green" moms, that it creates unrealistic expectations of how we should raise our kids.

Yes, breastfeeding is best.  But for your own peace of mind, go into any pregnancy ready for the potential problems that might arise - you can't know how your breastfeeding journey will turn out until you and your baby work on it together.  There are a lot of options to correct issues with a "bad latch," various positions to help with nipple pain, nutrition plans you can try to increase milk production, etc.

But if everything you try doesn't work?  Don't hate yourself.  It's okay.  You aren't less of mother for needing to feed your baby formula.  If it turns out to be the best option to help your baby grow, then do it.  It was a really hard pill to swallow for me - but I got over and moved on.

Don't give up.

With my newborn daughter, I was scared to breastfeed because of the memories of what happened with my son - but I tried anyway.  I'm SO glad that I did.  Both her latch and my milk supply have worked together like a dream and she's grown quickly, gaining weight as expected.  I've had a few issues with pain and pumping is a nightmare sometimes, but we've achieved a balance that works and I'm hopeful that we'll have her on solely breast milk for at least the first six months... but if that doesn't happen, I'm not going to blame myself or feel like a bad mother.

Relocating with Kids - Tips for Parents

It's been several weeks now since my family made a 300 mile move from coastal Southern California to the desert-like Central Valley of California... these 300 miles have taken my family to an entirely different climate, in a city with a very different community than the one we left behind.

Parents can have a million different reasons for relocating their families (mine was for work) but the one consistent challenge is how to make the relocation comfortable for their kids.  Some kids love the idea of going to a new place and meeting new people - others, typically those in school, don't want to leave their friends behind and are afraid of what going to a new place might mean.

So what can we do?

Don't hide the relocation from your child.  It might be tempting to leave the news of a big move hidden until the last minute so that your child doesn't worry about it... But I'm of the opinion that it might actually hurt to do that more than help.  Communicate with your child and let them know what's going on - this gives them time to ask you questions, say goodbye to friends, and (perhaps most importantly) they can feel involved in the process of moving with you - not excluded.

I believe in empowering children - I also don't think kids are unaware of change.  Your child will realize something's going on, so just be honest with them.  It was such a relief to tell my son that we were moving - I had been stressing about it from the minute I accepted my new position, and he actually took the news A LOT better than I thought he would.

Get your child involved.  House hunting was a bit of an issue when having to do it from 300 miles away, so we had to make what turned out to be several trips to pick a house and complete all that lovely paperwork that comes along with it.  My husband and I had debated having only him travel to look at potential houses, given that I was pregnant and our son was in school, but in the end we decided to plan the trip during one of our son's school breaks and we went as a family.  I can't tell you how much this helped our son!

He was able to walk through each house, decide where his room would be, tell us if he did or didn't like something, etc.  He felt like his opinion really mattered - and it did.  We also drove by the elementary schools near each house to show him what school he would go to if we moved there.  He got to see the playgrounds, how far the school would be from our house, and he was able to tell us if he didn't get a good feeling from what he saw.

Here he is with our house!

Don't forget your family time.  Moving is stressful whether you have zero kids or 10.  Us parents are often running around like crazy people trying to pack in advance, help kids with homework, make bottles for baby, go to work, and eventually fit sleep into the schedule.  It's HARD to move with kids.

But, especially with long distance moves, don't forget the value of quality time with your child.  Moving is just as stressful on them as it is on you.  They are leaving everything they know behind, just like you are!  Let your child know that you understand their feelings, that this move will be wonderful in the end, and that you still have time to play games and be with them despite all of the change.

In the end, you're moving as a family - so still make time to be a strong family unit.  Your family unit will be critical for ALL of you once you move - It will be the cornerstone for everyone's emotional well-being, so make time for it!

Why Gender Stereotypes Have No Place in Parenting

Today's post is on a topic that we might not agree on - but that's okay, right?  Today we're talking about "normal" and why I feel that the concept of "normal" simply doesn't exist.

My six year-old son's favorite color is purple.  I've had several people tell me that I should correct this "problem" ... Why?  Purple is a perfectly fine color - I personally have always floated more to the cooler end of the color spectrum myself, so I can also appreciate that purple is a lovely color - though my personal favorite is dark green... Wait, is that a "problem" too?

You see, purple is a GIRL color and green is a BOY color - so clearly my son and I are completely mixed up and are in need of swapping our favorite colors in order to fit into the "normal" and "good" classifications of color preferences... right?

Perhaps the above example seems silly, but it's something that I've fought against since the minute my son was born.  You see, I don't buy into gender stereotyping.  I think it's an antiquated idea that has no room in modern society.

I have this opinion because I was a tomboy - I loved climbing trees, playing soccer, and wearing jeans.  As a little girl, I hated dresses, couldn't stand the color pink, and never liked when boys got picked before me when playing sports because I was an athlete - not a "girl."

In raising my son, my husband and I made a conscious effort to allow him to like what he liked and not force our opinions on him.  The result?  A little boy that loves zombies, swimming, rough-housing, and video games... AND My Little Ponies, the color purple, and pink bubble bath.

What's the harm in a boy liking pink toys or watching Pixie Hollow movies?  It's probably the worry that the little boy will grow up to be gay, right?  What's the harm in a little girl that prefers legos and monster movies over Barbie and unicorns?  It's probably the worry that the little girl will grow up to be gay, right?

Firstly, that's a ridiculous idea - just because a boy likes pink does not mean he's gay.  Second, if he ended up gay, who cares?  As parents, we need to embrace our children's personal identity.  It's become such a controversial idea to simply LOVE our kids for who they are, if who they are doesn't fit into a "cookie cutter" definition of what society views as "normal."

As parents, can we just agree that there is NO such thing as normal?  Can we also agree that our children are not ourselves and they might grow into adults that choose to live a lifestyle that's a little different from ours, and that's still okay?  We moms and dads can only do our best - encourage your child to love others and be a productive member of society - whether they decide to do it wearing a pink or green shirt really doesn't matter.